How to Define a Good Life in Your 20s

Dan Horwich, a 'Pay It Forward' executive and President and Executive Director of CAMP IT Conferences, shares his philosophy on building meaningful relationships. In this episode, Dan emphasizes the importance of leading with kindness and empathy, as well as making introductions for others without expecting anything in return. As an expert networker, he provides valuable insights and advice for transitioning veterans. Dan encourages listeners to focus on helping others and emphasizes the significance of surrounding themselves with a network of good people. Furthermore, he stresses the importance of approaching human interactions with a kind and gentle spirit, highlighting the positive impact it can have on both personal and professional relationships. https://bit.ly/TLP-363 Key Takeaways [03:36] Dan shares a powerful and personal story that influences his approach to networking. He recounts how his grandfather's life is saved during the Holocaust through a compassionate act of networking. This experience deeply impacts Dan, leading him to prioritize gratitude and helping others. It reinforces his existing networking practices but also prompts him to move faster and consider how he can assist those he meets. [08:05] Dan discusses the importance of relationship networking and serving others without expecting anything in return. He advises focusing on giving rather than getting and emphasizes the happiness and influence that come from helping others. He introduces a four-bucket rule for networking and encourages surrounding oneself with kind and coachable individuals. Dan emphasizes proactive networking and making quality introductions for others to build a strong network. [12:10] In our discussion, Dan emphasizes the importance of giving as much as you receive in networking and mentorship. He acknowledges that not everyone may reciprocate, but they focus on appreciating the introductions they receive. By constantly making introductions, they build relationships and expand their network. Despite occasional frustration, joy and personal growth outweigh any negative feelings. [14:11] Dan emphasizes the importance of attitude and emotional intelligence for successful tech leaders. He highlights resilience, humility, and a giver's mindset as key qualities. Dan encourages building relationships and treating others with respect. He cautions against closed-mindedness and stresses the need to understand the business value of technology. Building rapport and trust with business leaders is essential in the tech industry. [18:43] For Dan, around 10 to 20% of tech leaders truly excel in their roles, exhibiting qualities such as emotional intelligence, empathy, and open-mindedness. However, there is ample room for improvement and growth among the majority. Success in tech leadership is determined by factors like business partnerships, personal survival, and the esteem held by their team. It's important to recognize that not everyone brings their best selves to work due to personal challenges. [20:50] Dan highlights the importance of understanding between sell-side and buy-side attendees. He coaches sponsors to see attendees as humans first, considering their personal concerns and goals. By enabling and empowering others, meaningful relationships are formed. Dan advises attendees to recognize sellers as potential networking resources for career growth. Mutual sensitivity and respect foster successful interactions. [23:56] During the discussion, Dan shared his approach to understand sellers and buyers' needs. [26:17] When asked what advice he would give to his 25-year-old self, Dan emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with good humans, making logical decisions, and focusing on substantive matters instead of superficial achievements. Dan highlights the significance of kindness and integrity in building successful and fulfilling relationships. He also shares stories of questionable advice he received, urging the importance of maintaining integrity even at the cost of personal gain. [31:42] Dan discusses how his perspective on a good life has evolved over time. He emphasizes the importance of impacting others, enabling their success, and surrounding himself with good people. He contrasts the temporary happiness from material possessions with the lasting fulfillment that comes from helping others. According to him, "A good life involves achieving personal goals while prioritizing relationships, health, and gratitude." [35:26] Dan provides a challenge to listeners to help others amid tough times. He advises shifting focus from negativity to making introductions and checking in on people. By assisting positive individuals, one can find joy and opportunities. Dan encourages daily check-ins with two or three people, fostering a supportive network and improving personal circumstances. [38:04] Closing quote: In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit. — Anne Frank Quotable Quotes "It's about giving, not about getting." "You do it without expectation... The more your heart compounds with happiness, the more you build a sphere of influence and a sphere of kindness." "You should always be making introductions for other people, quality introductions, good humans. Because as you do that, you then become the sphere of influence. And then people, by their very nature, whether they feel indebted or not, they're still going to want to help you." "The frustration is outweighed by the joy. So when you're able to give so much, you end up becoming a lot happier." "Attitude over aptitude over technical aptitude." "The best tech leaders that I know are resilient, humble, and have a giver's mindset." "If you show the attendees how they can get promoted, you build a connection. It's not about the message you want to give them, it's about the message that they're going to receive." "It's just understanding where people are at, what's important to them. And if you connect those dots, then you build a connection." "You shouldn't go out there to impress people. You should go out there to enable and empower people." "When both sides take the approach of getting to learn from each other and realize this is a human interaction, that helps." "Surround yourself with good humans." "Try and look through everything from a lens of logic." "Focus on the things that are real and substantive." "If you really want to have a happier life and a more successful, more fulfilling life, you surround yourself with good humans." "Kindness was seen as a weakness." "Money is important in a lot of ways, but it's not going to make you happy in tough times." "Build a foundation of good humans and surround yourself with good humans." "Just do it. Do it." "A good life is the impact you have on others, on enabling others and empowering others." "Surrounding yourselves with good humans and you're able to laugh and you help others, it goes back to that compounding of happiness." "Good life is accomplishing certain goals." Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | theleadershippodcast.com Sponsored by | www.darley.com Rafti Advisors. LLC | www.raftiadvisors.com Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | selfreliantleadership.com Dan Horwich LinkedIn | Dan Horwich Camp IT Conferences Website | https://campitconference.com/ "5 Strategies to infuse D&I into Your Organization," HBR