How to Set Those Boundaries That Feel Good for You

i was very angry and ragy and really mean for some years of my children's lives. Now i'm no longer the biggest thing i need to work on, how do i parent? The active act of parenting is being safe, seen, soothed and sgeter. How can you set boundaries that feel good for you, without then having to punish or be punitive in your discipline? Discipline is to teach, yes? It's not to punish. Yet i think we miss that. And i feel good, sometimes, in a perverse sort of way, punishing. I have to catch myself and say, actually, disregard what i said. What we're going to do is this