The Hidden Grief Behind High Achievement with Emily Anhalt
Good Work with Barrett Brooks
Psychological curiosity and choosing psychology
Emily recounts formative teachers, reading on psychopathology, and switching from pre-med to psychology.
This week, I talk with Dr. Emily Anhalt—a clinical psychologist, founder, and writer who’s spent the past 15 years exploring what it really means to be emotionally healthy. You might know her from her TED Talk or her work at Coa, but in this conversation, we go deeper. We talk about growing up in Silicon Valley, the pressure of being a high-achieving kid, and why so many successful people still carry unresolved grief. Emily shares how ADHD shaped her early life, what led her to leave pre-med for psychology, and how emotional patterns from childhood often resurface in our work and relationships. We also dive into what actually makes therapy effective and why hitting your goals doesn’t always bring peace. If you’ve ever built something meaningful but still felt unsettled, or questioned what’s really driving your ambition, I think this episode will speak to you. Let’s get to it.
In this episode:
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(00:00) - Intro
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(02:52) - How a beanbag chair and snacks helped Emily unlock her best work
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(08:01) - Growing up inside the Silicon Valley success machine
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(09:45) - Why high performers need a different kind of therapy
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(11:53) - The story of Emily’s parents and how they ended up in the Valley
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(13:54) - Reframing ADHD as a strength, not a stigma
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(16:33) - The early experiences that shaped Emily’s emotional lens
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(23:40) - How Emily chose psychology—and what kept her going
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(28:40) - The moment therapy stopped being about symptoms
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(33:06) - Why grief is a necessary companion to growth
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(38:21) - The origin story of a company built around emotional fitness
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(42:30) - What changes when you go from therapist to founder
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(45:27) - The qualities of high-integrity therapy
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(51:26) - How Emily knew it was time to write a book
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(58:20) - What really keeps entrepreneurs stuck—and how to get unstuck
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(01:02:09) - What it feels like when success leaves you empty
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(01:05:32) - How to rebuild when your goals stop making sense
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(01:07:44) - Why achieving meaning isn’t the same as feeling it
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(01:11:06) - Why therapy often gets harder before it gets better
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(01:12:47) - Abandoning hard feelings before healing happens
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(01:13:40) - The isolation of success—and how to find support
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(01:21:17) - How overachievers get trapped in burnout
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(01:29:26) - Healthy ways to process anger
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(01:33:46) - What makes Emily world-class?
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(01:34:09) - Emily's most beautiful future
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(01:34:49) - Who Emily is becoming
Get full show notes and links at https://GoodWorkShow.com.Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@barrettabrooks.
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