I think that there were these long currents of sort of like insecurity that stemmed from being a child, you know. And I just did not have the strength like the internal fortitude to accept how sad I was about it all and why we had to struggle. But when I started noticing where I would be in college and I'd be in my room before I go to sleep and as soon as like the alcohol or the drugs were wearing off,  that's the feeling I would feel. It was just sadness just bubbling up...That's what I was running away from.

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