The Power of Silence and Self-Esteem

In this episode of the Moral Imagination Podcast I speak with Fr. J. Augustine Wetta about his book Humility Rules: Saint Benedict's Twelve-Step Guide to Genuine Self-Esteem.

The world teaches us to assert ourselves, to follow our passions, to speak up, talk back, “get yours,” don’t let anyone stand in your way. But it doesn’t really work. As Tyler Durden proclaims in Fight Club: “We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact.”

In contrast to the world’s and Fight Club’s response (which we won’t talk about), Fr. Augustine looks at the Rule of St. Benedict and his ladder of humility as a guide for real happiness and true self-esteem, which comes not from self-assertion, but from self-denial, selflessness, serving others, and not being a slave to one’s own will and desires.

We discuss Fr. Augustine journey from a lifeguard, surfer, and rugby player to a Benedictine monk, and some of his stories teaching high school students, and throwing himself into a rosebush.

In his Rule for monks, St. Benedict explains that any progress toward holiness, happiness, and relationship with God and others must be grounded in humility. He describes humility as a ladder – with one side as the soul and the other as the body.

…if we want to reach the highest summit of humility, if we desire to attain speedily that exaltation in heaven to which we climb by the humility of this present life, then by our ascending actions we must set up that ladder on which Jacob in a dream saw angels descending and ascending (Gen 28:12). Without doubt, this descent and ascent can signify only that we descend by exaltation and ascend by humility.

Now the ladder erected is our life on earth, and if we humble our hearts the Lord will raise it to heaven. We may call our body and soul the sides of this ladder, into which our divine vocation has fitted the various steps of humility and discipline as we ascend. (St. John’s Abbey)

Fr. Augustine goes through each of the steps on the ladder of humility

* Fear of God

* Self-Denial

* Obedience

* Perseverance

* Repentance

* Serenity

* Self-Abasement

* Prudence

* Silence

* Dignity

* Discration

* Reverence

The book is excellent. It is morally and spiritually serious and entertaining. I laughed out loud several times.

Fr. Augustine offers apparently outlandish advice to to people struggling with anxiety, worry, and broken relationships

* Don’t speak up

* Be someone’s doormat

* Don’t follow your dreams

* Put your worst foot forward

And gives “homework” to practice each of the steps including:

* Make no excuses next time you are reprimanded

* Clean a toilet

* Say thank you next time someone tells you something you already know

* The next time you see something not done your way - leave it be if it works

In addition to Humility Rules we discuss a number of topics including:

· His book on decision making called , Pray, Think, Act: Make Better Decisions with the Desert Father

· Joy cannot be grasped, but is the fruit of love and self-denial.

· St. John Cassian and his writings on the eight vices – including the vice of self-esteem, and why focusing on ourselves prevents us from building good relationships and finding happiness.

· Challenges of modern life, particularly the impact of digital distractions on mental health and spiritual well-being

· The difference between contemporary meditation practices with traditional Catholic contemplative prayer.

· The importance of cultivating an attitude of reverence and gratitude

· The role of obedience in spiritual growth – and why it’s probably not a good idea to throw oneself into a rosebush.

· How chastity requires us to see others as persons and subjects, not objects for use

· St. Benedict’s rule on Silence, how silence increases mental clarity and attention to others, and the magnificent quote from Dom Paul Delatte OSB Commentary on the Rule of St. Benedict

“The fundamental purpose of silence is to free the soul, to give it strength and leisure to adhere to God.

It delivers us from the low tendencies of our nature and of fixing us in the good.“

Biography

Augustine Wetta is a monk of Saint Louis Abbey in Saint Louis Missouri. He has two degrees in Theology from Oxford University, a BA in Ancient Mediterranean Civilizations from Rice University, and an MA in English from Middlebury College. For twenty years, he has taught English, Classics, and Theology at the Priory School, in Saint Louis, Missouri, where he also coached rugby and served as Director of Chaplaincy.  In 2019, he was named a Portsmouth Institute Senior Fellow.  He writes for Our Sunday Visitor, and hosts a blog entitled "Disagreement" with Islamic social activist Umar Lee, and frequently appears on EWTN and Saint Joseph Radio.In 2014, he was awarded the Judson Jerome Poetry Award and the Bill Baker Award for Fiction at the Antioch Writers Workshop (the first author in the history of the conference to win both). In 2015, he was awarded the Taliaferro Award for Memoir Writers at the San Francisco Writers Conference, where he was also a finalist for the Emerging Writer Award.He is the author of several books:

* Pray, Think, Act a book on decision-making based on the sayings of the Desert Fathers

* The Eighth Arrow, a fantasy prison-break set in Dante’s Inferno

* Saving Grace, an illustrated children’s book about a three-legged turtle.

* Humility Rules: A 12 Step Guide to Genuine Self-Esteem which has sold over 100,000 copies and has been translated into five languagesThe son of an artist (Jean Carruthers Wetta) and a historian (Frank Wetta), Father Augustine was born in Baton Rouge, Louisiana in 1971, but grew up in Galveston, Texas. There he learned to surf and developed an enormous ego as a lifeguard on the Galveston Sheriff Department Beach Patrol. During this time, he also worked as a professional juggler (“The Flying Fettuccinne Brothers”) and as an archaeologist (at the Agora in Athens). He remains an avid surfer. In fact, if you Google “surfing monk” his is the first name that comes up—along with a news report about how he was nearly eaten by a shark. 

Themes/Chapters of the Interview

* 00:00 Introduction to Father Augustin Weta

* 03:07 Exploring Humility and Self-Esteem

* 05:55 St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility

* 09:13 Fr. Wetta’s Journey to Monastic Life

* 12:03 The Role of Self-Denial

* 14:52 The Importance of Silence

* 18:11 Art, Beauty, and Truth

* 21:04 Fear of God and Genuine Self-Esteem

* 30:06 The Struggle with Digital Distractions

* 34:12 The Importance of Silence in Modern Life

* 37:29 Meditation vs. Contemplation: A Spiritual Perspective

* 41:39 Understanding Lust and Chastity

* 49:00 The Role of Reverence in Spiritual Life

Resources

J Augustine Wetta: Humility Rules: St. Benedict’s 12-Step Guide to Genuine Self-Esteem

J Augustine Wetta: Pray, Think, Act: Make Better Decisions with the Desert Fathers

Philokalia Volume 1 - This is an amazing collection and it includes St. John Cassian on the Eight Vices

Other Books related to the rule of St. Benedict

Dom Paul Delatte, OSB —his Commentary on the Rule of St. Benedict is long and detailed but incredibly impressive and deep. Honestly it is probably not worth it unless you Here is the quote on silence from Dom Delatte that I refer to in the episode and I use a lot - especially in thinking about cultivating silence, but also in our age of over-information.

I also recommend a visit to a Benedictine Abbey if you can. I have not visited St. Louis Abbey, but I have visited Clear Creek Abbey in Oklahoma several times. You can learn more about them here and get CDs of their chanting if you are interested.

Photo Credit: Courtesy Augustine Wetta OSB