I'm increasingly of the opinion that the formula for how we should act in all these different Circumstances doesn't exist. And even when there is a formula, it's not clear that you necessarily have to use it I mean, let me give you an example. If you go to a drinks party and you're thinking well We don't want to stay too long. But the hosts get annoyed with us but equally we don't wants to leave too early because we don't wanting to be rude Right? So then you imagine saying to your partner. How many minutes do we need to stay? For it to be the right number of minutes now that would be a kind of really stupid

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