Carl Narcisse, a partner on the talent team at Andreessen Horowitz, and Whitnie Narcisse, formerly an operating partner at First Round Capital who just launched a matchmaking company, talk to Erik Torenberg about their relationship.
The couple discuss their decade-long marriage that began at a baseball game, balancing tech careers with raising three children, and applying "people ops" principles to their partnership—like maintaining a #relationshipgoals spreadsheet to track their goals. They share insights on navigating cultural differences, dating 360s, and why relationships require both spiritual alignment and a growth mindset.
Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co
--
SPONSOR: Relationship Hero
It’s an open secret in Silicon Valley that people are using relationship coaches. Sign up for 1-on-1 relationship coaching (from anywhere) at RelationshipHero.com/modern. Get $50 off your first session.
--
LINKS:
Whitnie’s website: Whitnie.com
a16z.com: https://a16z.com/
--
FOLLOW ON X:
Carl - @cnarcisse
Whitnie - @WhitnieLow
Erik - @eriktorenberg
Turpentine - @turpentinemedia
--
TIMESTAMPS:
(00:00) Intro
(01:34) How Whitnie and Carl Met
(03:49) Their Dating Journeys Before Meeting
(07:22) Recognizing the Right Partner
(09:57) Early Relationship Challenges
(14:00) Cultural Differences
(15:50) Sponsor: Relationship Hero
(17:25) Handling Temperament Differences
(19:00) Balancing Energy Levels
(21:28) Wanting a Partner Who Leads
(23:40) Whitnie’s Evolution from Avoidant to Secure
(27:09) Applying People Ops to Marriage
(31:47) Building a Support System
(33:52) Relationship Goals and Communication
(38:26) Whitnie’s Dating Concierge Business
(44:23) The Value of 360 Reviews in Dating
(47:04) Finding the Right Partner vs. The "Perfect" Match
(53:34) Dating Process Advice
(56:04) Marriage and Commitment
(1:00:18) Navigating Challenges in Marriage
(1:02:09) Parallels Between Recruiting and Matchmaking
(1:04:30) Wrap
Chapters
- 00:00:00 Intro
- 00:01:34 How Whitnie and Carl Met
- 00:03:49 Their Dating Journeys Before Meeting
- 00:07:22 Recognizing the Right Partner
- 00:09:57 Early Relationship Challenges
- 00:14:00 Cultural Differences
- 00:15:50 Sponsor: Relationship Hero
- 00:17:25 Handling Temperament Differences
- 00:19:00 Balancing Energy Levels
- 00:21:28 Wanting a Partner Who Leads
- 00:23:40 Whitnie's Evolution from Avoidant to Secure
- 00:27:09 Applying People Ops to Marriage
- 00:31:47 Building a Support System
- 00:33:52 Relationship Goals and Communication
- 00:38:26 Whitnie's Dating Concierge Business
- 00:44:23 The Value of 360 Reviews in Dating
- 00:47:04 Finding the Right Partner vs. The "Perfect" Match
- 00:53:34 Dating Process Advice
- 00:56:04 Marriage and Commitment
- 01:00:18 Navigating Challenges in Marriage
- 01:02:09 Parallels Between Recruiting and Matchmaking
- 01:04:30 Wrap
