People-pleasing and boundary tactics

When the world around you feels chaotic, leading a team can feel overwhelming, especially when your inner world is just as loud. Most managers try to push through, rely on willpower, or double down on doing more. 

But in reality, external chaos only becomes manageable when we learn to work with the internal chaos driving our emotions, reactions, and habits.

Fortunately, this week’s guest helps us unpack exactly why leaders get stuck in overwhelm and how to shift back into clarity and confidence.

Rob Kalwarowsky is a world-renowned executive coach, author of the best-selling book Capitalizing on Chaos, and keynote & TEDx speaker. We explore the hidden parts of ourselves that shape our leadership, the subconscious fears that drive “DIY leadership,” people-pleasing, and imposter syndrome, and the practice that brings you back to center when everything feels too much.

If you’ve ever found yourself spiraling, overworking, micromanaging, avoiding decisions, or doubting your capability even when you're successful… this conversation will help you understand what’s happening inside your brain and what to do next.

Rob’s practical framework gives you the mental tools to lead yourself and your team with steadiness, self-awareness, and strength, even when everything feels uncertain.

Get FREE mini-episode guides with the big idea from the week’s episode delivered to your inbox when you subscribe to my weekly email.

Join the conversation now!

Conversation Topics

• (00:00) Introduction – Leading through internal and external chaos.
• (01:07) How self-awareness impacts leadership and team dynamics.
• (04:14) The DIY Leader—When doing everything holds you back.
• (07:44) TA tool for acknowledging stress and building empathy.
• (10:25) Understanding internal leadership behaviors.
• (16:21) Using self-awareness to improve interactions and decision-making.
• (19:41) Applying the “Parts Framework” to enhance collaboration.
• (22:50) How your internal state affects team morale.
• (24:41) Recognizing and managing energy-draining saboteurs.
• (30:39) [Extended only] Team strategies for shared language and stress signals.
• (32:56) [Extended only] Using vulnerability and playful cues to improve team communication.

📚 Additional Resources:

- Get the extended episode by joining The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community for just $15 per month

- Read the full transcript here

- Follow me on Instagram here 

- Visit my website for more here

- Upskill your team here

- Subscribe to my YouTube Channel here

- Take the Saboteur Assessment here 

Keep up with Rob Kalwarowsky

- Follow Rob on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rob-kalwarowsky/ 

- Subscribe to his YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@ExecutiveCoachRobK 

- Check out his book Capitalizing on Your Strengths here: https://www.robkalwarowsky.com/capitalizing 

Guest Bonus: 10 Book Giveaway and Free Find Your Reason Worksheet

• The Find Your Reason worksheet (PDF Download) is designed to clarify your goals and to support you in overcoming any subconscious resistance to taking action. Studies show that writing down your goals increases your probability of achieving them to 42% and sharing them with me increases it even further to 70%.  Who wouldn’t spend a few minutes to dramatically improve their chances of success?

• 10 book giveaway of Capitalizing On Chaos: The Executive’s Guide to Succeed in Disruption. We all have the capacity to demonstrate ineffective and even harmful behaviors, creating our own version of chaos. But we also have the capacity to change. To find our true selves inside of the uncertainty. And to move forward by moving beyond our circumstances to proven leadership strategies for organizational growth. Capitalizing on Chaos is the handbook on bringing order and clarity to the future of work.

To get this bonus and many other member benefits, become a member of The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community.

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The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive and great work gets done.

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