A Satirical Take on Political Absurdities and Media Narratives

SEASON 3 EPISODE 149: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: Donald Trump is now getting into bed with a convicted pedophile. Figuratively.

Donald Trump has already cut a deal with a pedophile. A two-day deal to protect her. To PROTECT Ghislaine Maxwell from being prosecuted. Two days of immunity. It’s immunity. It’s immunity at the direction of Donald Trump. Immunity. What may be a precursor to a deal. To a pardon. To her walking out of jail earlier than the year 2037. 

This is sending the Deputy Attorney General, previously one of your own personal scumbag sleazebag shill lawyer mouthpieces, to meet with a convicted child sex trafficker who is not eligible to be released until she’s 76 years old, giving her two days’ worth of temporary immunity in which she can’t be further prosecuted for anything she says to him. You have ALREADY CUT A DEAL with a pedophile. You, Todd Blanche, are already figuratively in bed with a pedophile. YOU, Donald Trump, are already figuratively in bed with a pedophile. YOU, Trump supporters and blind MAGA cult slaves, YOU are already figuratively in bed with a pedophile.

Sure, make a deal. Art of the deal. Trump’s the great dealmaker. Make the deal with the rapist of children. Of the woman who essentially held the girls down. Make the deal with the woman who sold the children to the rapists. MAKE that deal, Trump. And you know what that deal is called – it’s called selling your soul to the devil. If you have any soul left. You, Donald Trump, and all who support him, stand on the precipice. You are figuratively getting into bed with Ghislaine Maxwell. You are figuratively getting into bed with a pedophile. You are figuratively getting into bed with the process of COVERING UP PEDOPHILIA. 

There is now no way out of Trumpstein for Trump.

ALSO: Anybody notice that on Friday Trump said reporters shouldn't ask him about Epstein, they should ask Clinton or the Harvard President: "I'll give you a list." So...he confirmed THERE'S A LIST and there's a LIST HE HAS and there's a LIST HE HAS THAT HE COULD GIVE YOU BUT IS COVERING-UP?

AND RYAN WALTERS, EXIT STAGE RIGHT: Oklahoma's lunatic Trump-bible-thumping head of public schools? Reportedly had porn playing on a monitor in his office during the executive session of the State Board of Education. And then couldn't figure how to turn it off. It's a classic story: the loudest moralist has the least morals.

B-Block (47:28) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Great news! A QAnon prophet says there are multiple Hillarys, Obamas and Bidens. Cool! An army? With which to kick Trump's ass? Let's goooooo. Senator Mike Lee again proves he is just a balding 5th Grader who just flunked Social Studies again. And while you may still be wasting your time complaining about Colbert, CBS has gone full obey-in-advance to placate FCC Commissioner Brendan "Don't call me Josef Goebbels" Carr. There will be an ombudsman inside CBS News snitching to corporate on things the CBS News people are doing that might displease Fuhrer Trump.

C-Block (49:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Did I ever tell you I was in a movie? And the star bothered to show up to see my little cameo shot because he was such a fan of mine? And he was a great guy and we stayed in touch for 20 years? And his name was...RANDY QUAID? "Dead Solid Perfect" may be the best golf movie of all-time, Quaid was (then, anyway) a delight, it has THE scene the golfers love the most starring actress Corinne Bohrer, and the director who personally asked me to be in it (and I'm terrible in it) was named Bobby Roth. And last week I worked with Bobby Roth for the first time in 37 years. He's a documentarian now and the new one is on saving democracy and he wanted me in it. All part of life's rich pageant!

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