Our third nominee for Rant of the Year, Dr. Fauci.

Fauci wants everyone to get vaccinated, right? And then the whole story comes out is the people that aren't being vaccinated are the Trump supporters and the Republicans and, you know, Ted Nugent, right? So they're the ones who aren't being vaccinated. And that's the group they needed to get the message to. So Fauci, and he's just being sanctimonious, but Fauci's like, all these people, Biden's all those guys, these Trump voters, these Trump supporters. Why are you on Rachel Maddow's show for the 66th night in a row, you fucking coward? Why are you preaching to the converted? All your people are the good people and they all got vaccinated. So why the fuck would you go on MSNBC and tell everyone to get vaccinated? Who's already been triple facts. Go the fuck on Hannity, go to Fox, go on Tucker Carlson show and get all their unwashed deplorables and go on there and make your fucking case to Tucker Carlson's audience. By the way, Tucker Carlson has ten times the audience that host fucking du jour on CNN has. But Fauci, who's a man of science, is too big a chicken shit to go on his show because somebody might disagree with him, somebody may push back at him, and someone may do something other than what Rachel Maddow would do, which is suck his fucking miniature Italian falls. And that's how you know he's a lying sack of shit.

Yeah,

everyone should have been hit. Like, okay, this guy's not politicized. He's a man of science. He's just talking science and data. So then go everywhere and talk science and data. Right. And start science and data, man, with the platforms with the most audience. So start with Tucker Carlson. Start with Joe Rogan. Start with Hannity. And then work your way down to Joy Reid. You make sense. Yeah, because you're just selling a product, but your product is science. So just go to the big audience and also the big audience is skeptical so that's really the audience you need to get to i think he

had a really big fall from grace i mean i don't i don't hear anything about him anymore nobody right like i mean there's no suffering

though no but it's coming. It's coming.

The lab funding, the lab leak, the old NIH stuff. Dude-funded killing beagles. It's coming. Puppies. It's coming. It's the only thing I liked about the man. No, it's coming. It's coming. It'll take a minute. Right. And, you know, we'll have to— I'm curious to see what his legacy becomes. Not good. In

the next decade. The liar's

legacy always suffers. You know, it's going to be awesome when the greatest Adam Carolla show of the year is not

allowed on YouTube. Yes. All right. Here we go. Outstanding achievement on shitting on a Point or Story. Love this one.

The nominees for Outstanding Achievement in Shitting on a Point or Story are Mike

Dawson. No one's ever used the last rolling paper. You just lose the rolling papers. Never had a rolling paper and went, oh. Ow. Ow. That's my last one. Time to buy more. But you have said, I just fucking bought a brand new set of rolling papers. Where the fuck is it that someone else will find later on in the life of the car or wherever under the sofa or whatever? Then they will use three of them, but not spend. It won't get to the bottom. then they will get lost or put somewhere. Now, you've used the last toilet paper, you know, that's three times a week. Last rolling paper, and it's almost the same with duct tape. You never get to the very cardboard bottom. I don't think I've ever seen it. You just go, there's a roll of duct tape. Where the fuck? I mean, Dawson, you've rolled a lot of doobies. I

got a shit on your point here, boss. You. You're fucking. I like him. You're fucking Rastafarian. Yesterday I used my very last orange zigzag. You've got to

be kidding me. Wow.

At home? Yep. Rolled your last

dube and used your last paper yesterday. But have you ever gone through an entire roll of duct tape? Yes. When you're using it because you're out of rolling papers? And you rolled a duct tape joint? Maz Jabrani. Would you rather be a panda bear born in the United States or a female, a young girl born

in Iran? Oh, God. Well, first of all, as you know, the women in Iran, the most recent protest was because Masa Amini, 22-year young woman, was walking down the street. Her hair was out of her hijab. The morality police stopped her, arrested her, proceeded to kill her. You're making my argument. Well, clearly, yeah. Clearly, it's very hard to be a female in Iran. I will 100% agree with you on

that. So you would take Panda Bear in the United States over for your unborn daughter? No, you don't understand.

I'll take panda bear anywhere. That's

what I'm trying to say. No, no, it's not anywhere because, you know, there's plenty of Nordic countries where you'd rather your daughter just be a daughter. No, no. What country does a panda bear not get treated well? Is there a country where they're oppressing panda bears? If you were to ask most women, would you rather be born who you are, a woman in Sweden, or a woman in Iran, or a panda bear in the United States, they would have to flip a coin or think about it

or discuss it. No, no, I'm going to stop you right there. So first of all, a woman in Iran, a woman in Sweden, where would you rather be born? Clearly, like Sweden, you're going to have a lot more freedoms, yes. But panda bear anywhere beats all of it. You get fed.

Yeah, but you're a bear. You're a bear. You never get to write poetry. Who cares?

You get fed. They give you girl bears to have sex

with. This experiment will not work if you simply say panda bear everywhere. I would not want my daughter to be a panda bear. I would rather her be my daughter. But if I thought she was going to get acid thrown in her face for reading, then I might tell her to opt to the panda bear. So that's the experiment. That was Pakistan. Oh, Pakistan.

All right. I'll put Pakistan on the list. No, no, I don't care. No, Iran. Listen, clearly, obviously, my daughter has a lot more freedoms in America, 100 percent. I was just trying to make the argument that panda bears have a pretty good life. That's all I'm do. And I agree with you. I started that argument. And by the way, there's a few years in the teenage years where I wouldn't mind if my daughter wore a panda bear. Yeah, she'd be a panda bear for a few years. I'd like to be able to switch her over. Yeah, just, you know, a couple years.

All right, so for the record, your daughter, a bear in the United States over female in Iran. Yes, I'll take. OK, yes, there's stress everywhere. But what I'm saying is there's not acid everywhere or being killed for not wearing the burqa. And Mike Dawson. When you were here, I don't know, three months ago, you made this joke about 69ing, and I asked if you pulled a 34 and a half. Pretty good. And I thought, that's funny. And then I thought, I'm going to try that on stage. Not yet on stage. It gets a huge laugh. Yeah. People do math faster than I thought. Okay. And it gets a big laugh. But it's predicated on knowing that Brad Williams is a little comedian.

Oh, you don't say, like, Brad Williams,

my dwarf comedian friend? I do, but I start the joke by going, do you guys know who Brad Williams is? And by the way, Brad Williams could be the name of an F1 driver. It's a common name. It could be the name of an actor. It could be the name of anybody. If I go, you guys know Brad Williams? And everyone goes, yeah. They start clapping. It's an easy applause. Love it. I still set it up by saying little guy comedian, but there's strong recognition throughout the

country. When I got to open up for Brad at the Irvine Improv a while back, I told my friend, hey, I'm opening for Brad Williams. And he said, that's awesome. That's the big guy from Raymond, right? Yeah, exactly. All right. Now, we have a winner,

Dawson. You're, according to Vegas betting odds, you have a 66% chance. I am the front runner. With the coveted award.

The upset might be in, though, because the winner for Outstanding Achievement and Shitting on a Point Our story goes to Mike Dawson for rolling papers. Oh. For rolling papers. And I want to take this second to talk about equity. Oh, you think you're giving an acceptance speech. Look, buy a house. All

right. Can I say this? Was that Maz Jab Yeah. Yes. I have a, I don't have that many. I have a couple sort of Niagara Falls moments. It's an old reference, but I realize there's certain things that hit me on some weird level that's much stronger than normal people. People who don't go along with hypotheticals, I immediately come undone. Like my head starts spinning. Like there's something about people who won't go along with a hypothetical. but nobody likes it but i'm hit on a visceral like insane level it drives me i'm triggered by

people who do not go along imagine knowing all of that and being a fly on the wall while it's happening live and going, dude, just agree. Just, just get along. Well, no, no.

You can either agree, but you can also disagree. But the people who won't go along with the hypothetical, I don't know. I don't know why, but it, uh, it just drives me insane. All right. Uh, let's see. Interview of the Year, part two, coming your way. Our second nominee for

Interview of the Year, Stuart Copeland. In 1976, when the Sex Pistols used the F-bomb on national TV and kind of woke everybody up. That kind of popped the bubble of the previous hippie scene. And all these new clubs started springing up around England and particularly London with this wild new idea that you didn't need to know fancy chords. You just had to slam out E, A and D really loud and really fast and shout hostile gibberish. And wow, how fun is that? These clubs were just, it was just a happening scene. And so I figured that looks easy. I want to get me one of them bands. And I figured it had to be a three-piece band because there's more room in the car. A lot of good reasons for having just three guys in the band instead of four or five or six. No room in the car. Got to get two cars. And I saw a bass player up in Newcastle. I was night off. I was with Curved Air, my prog rock band. We were progging out up there. And night off, local journalist takes us to see the hot band in Newcastle called Last Exit. And I was looking for, you know, for a three-piece, either the guitarist or the bass player has to also sing. Somebody's got to be on the mic. Ain't going to be me because I'm breathing too hard banging stuff. So this band, we're pretty good. Kind of jazz, progressive kind of thing. And the bass player, he could play and sing and had his own amp, clearly. Cool. Get his number. But there was one more detail that did not escape my attention, which is this golden shaft of celestial light descending upon his magnificent brow. And this man was just radiating meal ticket for me. And I think, got to get that guy because he just had a shining light about him. And I'm sure he had his own amp and everything. Might have even had a truck to carry it in. But man, that charisma thing stuck. And a few weeks later down in London, I got his number called him up said hey you want to come down to the big smoke and i gave him a whole load of balarney and uh which he believed uh and he did he came down to london with his um wife baby we kept quiet about that part punk rockers are not supposed to have babies. And ancient dog, Turdy. And he came down, called me up. We had a jam, and the rest is history. Wow.

That's how the police were formed. All right. Yeah. Forgot how good Stuart was.

It's weird that the best talker is the drummer.

Yeah, you never really hear that. They're the best at math, and they're sometimes the smartest people in the band. I know, bass players are smarter.

No, I've interviewed a lot of bands. The

drummers are not usually

that eloquent. Well, they can only count to four. All right, here we go. Rant of the Year, part four, ironically. Our

fourth nominee for Rant of the Year. Randy Weingarten, School Closures, and Celebrity COVID Silence.

There's a new study. Math and reading scores among America's 13-year have fallen to their lowest levels in decades. Shocking. No way. I don't believe this. This can't be. This is not the onion. With math scores plunging by the largest margin ever recorded.

Right.

Yeah, according to the results of a federal test known as the nation's report.

Yes. Okay. Thank you. That makes sense. School teachers unions who closed the schools down for two years and fucked all the kids up, all the brown and black kids that you claim to care about. You just mortgage your future. As adults. Because you're creedy assholes. Randy Weingarten fucked our nation up as a proponent for closing schools as the leader of unions. If you guys don't think these unions are bad, think about how much control they have. Fucking telling Rochelle Walensky at the CDC to go rework her story about opening schools. That's how much power they yield. And she just got appointed to like the Homeland Security Council or whatever like this. It is insane. You fucking coward, hypocrite, horrible, horrible teachers unions. I told you in real time this was a horrible idea. I disagreed with you. You called me like an elitist and a racist and fuck what I'm going to do. Could one of you spineless pussies come onto the show and let's have a debate about it? Or are you just going to cower? They closed the schools. I said, this is a horrible idea. And it never had anything to do with kids. COVID didn't affect kids. It was always about the elderly. They hid that from you. They did not share that information with you. When the dust settles on COVID, and it is, all the information that's coming in is it did not affect kids in a negative way. The percentages for people under 19 were 0.003 They knew it early. And they didn't say shit about it. And so, all right, MSNBC, CNN, LA Times, New York Times, you all have fucking blood on your hands because you could have found out the answer. I knew it. And I was told to shut up over and over again. I knew it eight days in when we didn't get numbers reported, when I wasn't getting the ages of people who are dying. I was immediately suspicious. I put a tweet out, said it kills old people and sick people. And the rest of you pussies got played. Everyone attacked me. I told them to suck my dick. And I'm still telling them to suck my dick. Go find the tweet and tell me I'm fucking wrong, you liars. But here's the real question. It's not the L.A. Unified School District. It's not Gavin Newsom. It's not Merrick Garcetti. It's not Roberta Weintraub or Randy Weingarten or any of the fucking yet. It's not Rochelle Walensky. It's not Fauci. It's not anyone who's in on it. It's not everyone who's in on it. It's not them. It's not the CDC. It's not the Wuhan Health Department. It's not any of it. What the fuck happened to people? LeBron James, where were you, you fucking coward? Where were the celebrities? Where were the late night show hosts? Where were the tastemakers? Where were the fucking rappers? Where were you people? Where were the comedians, you fucking cowards? I said it. I said it over and over again. I got fucking attacked over and over again. I got nothing. Where were all you cowards? Where were the guys who run Netflix? Where were all the big names? Where the fuck was The Rock? Where was Kevin Hart? Where were you people? If you guys had chimed in, they would have fucking turned. They would have reversed course immediately. If LeBron James and Barack Obama and Michelle Obama and Oprah and all the fucking tastemakers, if you fucking cowards had chimed in early when you knew what was going on, then they would have turned. But you wouldn't do it because you wanted your fucking money, you pussies. Wow. I don't know how you encapsulate it. That's exactly what we... I don't like to blow smoke up my own ass, but that's encapsulated exactly what we just lived through. And by the way, LeBron James and the Obamas, they get to just move on. They just fucking move on. Yeah. But you really start, again, sort of circling back. It's that Gavin Newsom thing. Like, is LeBron James dumb? Is he just lying? Is, you know, The Rock, whatever. Is it all money? Is it just all money? Hey, Wolf Blitzer, you're just going to go on CNN and start lying now. Don't you have enough socked away? Like, I ask this every 10 minutes. Or Anderson Cooper, whoever, LeBron Rance, Obama's like, at some point, don't you just go, fuck it, I have integrity. Like, there's my word. I'm not doing this. I'm not saying this. I'm not. Sanjay Gupta, your physician, you're going to go back on CNN and talk about horse space. Where's your dignity? Like, what are you worth? What's your word worth? What's your dignity worth? What's any of it worth? Is it worth something? Or is it just all bottom line? Just all money? All bottom line? All the time for everyone? Oprah or whomever. That's it? You don't have enough F you money? F me money? Socked away at this point to do something? Or is it all just about the next cocktail party? Because that's probably

what it's about. Yeah. With LeBron. LeBron, I don't think it's conniving or it's – I don't even think he's really – if you're doing stupid or liar, I don't think he's lying. He's just a dope. He's

inside of Tupperware. I

think he believes a lot of

what he's doing. He loves Gavin Newsom. He just lives in a systemically racist nation where COVID is ravaging black people and stuff. But he understands he has a huge platform, so he uses it. All right. But nobody wanders outside of the plantation. None of those people, none of the tastemakers. There's not one what I would call tastemaker. Going

to see Miss

Lazo. Who would just wander out and go, I don't think we should be closing schools. I don't think kids should get vaccinated. You're right. One of them doesn't have an opinion. It's weird. Well, it's not weird. They're lying. It's sad. It's disappointing. Yeah, that's what it is. I think that's what it is. I thought adults would. Yeah, I thought Wolf Blitzer would have integrity. That's all I'm saying.