You're creating abusive relationships for yourself. You're creating situations of abandonment wher you over invest. The way that you try to protect yourself from feeling unloved is to put yourself in situations where that are untenable and will make you eventually feel rejected. It's pushing against a wall that you can't move. And ye everything as solf loathing, right? So, like, not only you're unlovable, you beat yourself up for being unlovable in all these behaviours. This pattern is actually of your own making. I don't think you're that unlucky, like this is t random chance. Like, when we see this pattern over and over and over again, i think