i just never made sense. I went to church in high school some, but i think less and less. Then i didn't go to church in college at all. And it wasn't until i got to ella that i' sort of all jailed. Did you meet other people that were having similar journeys? You know, i don't know that i did. There was a man who was taught composition at school of the arts who was a believer. He would sometimes ask me, how's your faith? Cause he knew i was an atheist. But then i remember somebody else recommending c s lewis a surprised by joy a - which talks about his journey with christianity.