As a young man when i had my first near death experiences working under cover, i was really pleased with myself. But no one told me that that was destroying the fabric of my brain. I'm diagnosed now with chronic p t s d and ii have, most days now, abet are good, but i have some dark days. And you don't like that, mate. Maan, you won't wake up in the morning. I'm just here with with a gun and my elastic going your five o minding his trets. How do you deal? Because we talk about stressful jobs, that is something else entirely.