When It's Hard To Connect, Try Being Curious
The Science of Happiness
Deep Curiosity and Its Role in Connecting with Others
The chapter explores how deep curiosity fosters connections with people and introduces Stephanie Shao, a cardiologist and parent of a neurodivergent child, who discusses how curiosity practices have helped her understand and support her son.
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When we're more curious, we are more likely to be happier and have stronger relationships. Try deepening your curiosity with these science-backed practices from author Scott Shigeoka.
Link to episode transcript: https://tinyurl.com/276u4yxu
Episode summary:
As a cardiologist and immigrant in the United States, Stephanie Hsiao has always placed an emphasis on advancing her skills in order to succeed. So when she received the diagnosis that her son was neurodiverse, Stephanie went immediately into action mode to help her son — but she felt like she was missing something. For our show, Stephanie tried a practice to cultivate “deep curiosity,” and found that a curious outlook helped her to check her assumptions about parenting and discover her son’s strengths and interests. Later, we hear from curiosity expert Scott Shigeoka about the difference between shallow and deep curiosity, and how it can help us forge stronger connections with others.
Practice:
Before engaging in curiosity: Slow down, focus on your breathing. Set an intention to focus on curiosity and maybe visualize yourself being curious.
While in conversation: Be open to being wrong, continuously check your assumptions, and actively turn towards those who are seeking your attention.
Going forward: Make commitments to yourself and with others to engage in difficult, but open-minded interactions.
Today’s guests:
Stephanie Hsiao is a mother and cardiologist based in San Francisco, California.
Scott Shigeoka is an author and storyteller who focuses on themes of curiosity and well-being.
Order Scott Shigeoka’s book Seek: How Curiosity can Transform Your Life and Save the World: https://tinyurl.com/4jrxbupj
Learn More About Scott’s work: https://tinyurl.com/y5xyxky7
Follow Scott on Instagram: https://tinyurl.com/3acu6jhm
Follow Scott on Twitter: https://tinyurl.com/3m3k3bm9
Resources from The Greater Good Science Center:
Six Surprising Benefits of Curiosity: https://tinyurl.com/7kcr32su
How to Stay Open and Curious in Hard Conversations: https://tinyurl.com/y2f2e9ce
Why Curious People Have Better Relationships: https://tinyurl.com/2xw5y9yr
Does Curiosity Have a Dark Side? https://tinyurl.com/5n88wzyd
How Curiosity Can Help Us Overcome Disconnection: https://tinyurl.com/9kaas6nz
More Resources on Curiosity:
BBC - Curiosity: The neglected trait that drives success: https://tinyurl.com/38bubaak
Harvard - A Curious Mind: https://tinyurl.com/324hyzv4
TED - How Curiosity Will Save Us: https://tinyurl.com/muswe2y5
Tell us about your experience with being curious. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.
Help us share The Science of Happiness!
Rate us on Spotify and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/m6aezjce
This episode was supported by a grant from the John Templeton Foundation, as part of our project on "Expanding Awareness of the Science of Intellectual Humility." To learn more, go to https://tinyurl.com/2dj6hw29
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