Speaker 1
He breaks out against all sound judgment that if you're the only person who likes your relationship or you and her, that should be a red flag. And you're going to invite outside counsel. All right, number nine. Don't be afraid to break up. If at some point along the dating relationship, you find yourself confident this relationship shouldn't move forward or in a season of doubting and questioning and really wrestling or identifying characteristics that give you pause and concern. Don't be afraid to end the relationship. But when you do, you're going to honor one another and how you do that. You're going to go in person. You don't break up, no relationship should be ever broken up through text messaging or any other form of digital communication that includes emojis. You're going to go in person and do what Philippians chapter two said, which is do nothing out of selfish ambition with humility. Consider the interests of others more important than yourselves. You are going to put the interests in this other person before yourself and you're going to communicate and you're going to sit them down and you're going to say, thank you for the time and ways you've invested in this relationship. If you're the guy, you're going to say, hey, I've really enjoyed or say whatever's true. Thank you for taking the time to go on the dates we have been on for the relationship that we have had. I no longer feel confident moving forward and need to break up our relationship to the girl. You're going to sit them down and you're going to say whatever's true and honor them. Thank you for taking me on dates and the way that you have cared for or the way you have led, communicated, whatever is true. You're going to look them in the eye and share as I've processed and praying, maybe you share with your community group, I'm no longer comfortable moving this relationship forward and need to break up and you honor them. You don't blame God. You don't go up to them and be like, look, I just think God is telling me we need to break up. Think about how many times that's done. God isn't heaven being like, oh, I didn't. That's just him. He just doesn't know. You don't blame God. You say, I'm not comfortable. And the thing that's hard is as Christians, we don't like hurting people's feelings. We're afraid of that, but you're honoring them by saying it would be unloving and dishonoring to continue going forward in a relationship I don't see moving forward. And so I'm going to choose to honor you and breaking up as hard. But can I just tell you this? If you will actually do the uncomplicated dating, it won't be easy because breaking up is never easy, but your breakup won't break you because you have protected your sexuality. You have sought to honor them along the way. You've communicated honestly and clearly along that journey, you haven't played games. Remember kids play games. You're a follower of Jesus. You've told the truth and it won't be easy because it's never easy. But it is something that God will get you through and it won't break you like so many breakups do when you date childlessly. Finally we understand, number 10, that marriage is ultimately about Jesus. If you want to uncomplicate dating, when you get so complicated and there's so many feels and what am I thinking and what's he thinking? As it relates to dating as a path to a promise on an altar that's a wedding, to a lifelong pursuit, that's a marriage, I understand at the end of the day, the thing that marriage is about is the same thing life is about, which is Jesus. And knowing Jesus and being in a covenant relationship, I'm going to explain that in a second with Jesus, the marriage at the end of the day, it's not about you. It's not about life, it's not about you and finding love and living happily ever after and Prince Charming, that life at the end of the day, and it's easy for me. You're married, it's easy for you to say, if you want to have an uncomplicated dating relationship, you've got to be informed that marriage is not about just that marriage. It's ultimately a picture that is intended to point us to how God loves and keeps his promises to his people.