I think just running in a state of fight or flight constantly. But that was required for me to leave Australia with, you know, not a whole lot of money in the bank and live on people's couches. And still obsessively be pushing forward requires a huge amount of compulsive, obsessive, self-motivated drive. Some of that dissipates but it's there all the time. I'd be lying if I said i had a complete handle on it. It's a tool that I will still need to use at certain times. The more comfortable I get  the more I sort of rationally talk myself through - hey, it's all okay now.

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