I Can't Trust You, Right?

It's 1983 and Chris Voss was hired at the FBI just before his 26th birthday. During his 24 years of service with the Bureau, Voss became a leading international kidnapping negotiator. He regularly engaged with some of the world's most dangerous criminals in extremely high-stakes scenarios. One of the moments that put Chris on the map was the time he successfully negotiated the release of hostages after a 1993 bank robbery at a Chase Manhattan bank in Brooklyn.

I imagine Chris's life a little like a scene from one of my favorite TV shows, The Americans, a period drama about two KGB spies (portrayed by Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys) posing as Americans in suburban Washington, D.C., during the Reagan administration. Voss is currently the founder and head of the Black Swan Group, where he and his team are leveraging his deep knowledge and experience to train businesses and individuals to become highly effective negotiators. 

Here are a few things you might learn from Chris during this session:

1. How to decipher your leverage and negotiate from strength [ "The enemy is not the person across the table; the adversary is the situation." ]

In other words, don't make people the enemy--focus instead on the problem to be solved. Negotiation shouldn't be a zero-sum game if you're planning to be in business long-term. So how do we win without burning bridges? The best strategy according to Voss is to "come up with a better deal than both parties could have imagined. You're both faced with different aspects of the same problem. So by definition, you have to look out for the other person to get to the best deal you can get."

2. How to figure out if you're the favorite or the fool...

3. How to use tactical empathy...

While many believe that business is war, Voss sees getting to wins as a collaboration with effort on both sides rooted in empathy. "Aim to magnify positive emotions. To try and take emotions out of negotiation is a fool's errand." So be kind. Be professional. Put yourself in your rival's shoes and figure out a way for you to both be happy. 

4. How to use mirroring...

And much more!

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