Lauren Michaels and Jason Sudeikis

Jason Sudeikis is here. Is our friend Jason SudeikIs? I think you guys thought I was kidding. Anybody in the whole city of New York, out of all the people. If you could pick Dan, hang on, let me queue up some music for this. Tell us something criminal about Lauren Michaels that would get him in a huge amount of trouble. Something just like something horrible that would profit you nothing and cost you everything.