i've been doing this for 12 years now, religiously, every every morning. Your mind is so easily programmed in ways that you're not even aware of. Anger is one of the programmes, and resentment is one of them. And what i can't understand when i'm meditating is there these moments were, you know, it all kind of clicks together. Everything is kind of easy and natural. The present moment is wonderful. F these thoughts keep popping up. It's like, i'm trying to hurt myself. I'm trying to destroy myself. Why? Where does that come from? You want my answer? Yes, your ego,. which, of course, is just an abstraction