Have you ever looked at your partner and thought, “I love you… but right now, I really don’t like you”? It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. It simply means you’re human.

In this episode, we’re getting real about what happens when the warm fuzzies fade and the little things like how they breathe, chew, or leave their glass next to the sink suddenly feel huge. Can you love someone and not like them? Absolutely. But how you handle those moments will decide whether they pull you apart or bring you closer.

I’ll walk you through how to tell the difference between harmless quirks, patterns that need attention, and true deal breakers. You’ll learn why 70% of relationship conflicts are about unchangeable differences, how emotional disconnection can make every annoyance feel bigger, and what it actually takes to shift from criticism to curiosity. We’ll talk about building the emotional intelligence skills that help you stay grounded, see each other’s perspective, and communicate in a way that leads to connection instead of a fight.

Episode Breakdown

00:00 The Myth of Effortless Relationships

03:07 Dr. John Gottman’s Research on Conflict & Compatibility

05:47 Turning Friction Points Into Opportunities for Relationship Growth

07:10 Daily Annoyances vs. Deal Breakers: A Clarity Exercise

10:35 How Positive Connection Reduces Relationship Frustration

14:22 The Emotional Intelligence Skills That Lead To Better Relationships

22:03 Understanding Your Partner’s Perspective with Empathy

24:45 Effective Communication Strategies That Actually Work

31:00 Discernment Counseling: Is This Relationship Fixable?

You can have a great relationship with someone who occasionally drives you up the wall, and this episode shows you how.

If you’re ready to stop spinning in communication loops and finally feel heard without starting a fight, check out my free Communication that Connects 2-Part Training. It gives you the exact skills and tools to handle these moments differently, plus a workbook to help you put them into practice. You can also take my free How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear snapshot of what’s working, what’s not, and where you can start building a more connected partnership today.

And if this episode struck a chord, let’s stay in touch. I’m always sharing more tips and resources on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube to help you turn those little friction points into deeper connection. I also want to hear from you. Your feedback, your questions about past episodes, and the topics you’d love me to cover next are always welcome. Let's talk!

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Thursday, February 23, 2023

The Gist Healthcare Podcast

Introduction

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