PTSD - I'm on the Verge of Suicide

When I went to war, our biggest threat was IEDs. My vehicle actually drove over and I active ID and for some God knows what reason it didn't explode. There's like a part of me that feels like I didn't suffer enough to earn my place on the planet. And yes, you do struggle with the things of like loud noises. So I was definitely a lot more hypervigilant because you're spending, again, seven months in a counterinsurance warfare,. Like, loud noises could mean death. Crowds could mean death."