I Can't Believe That I'm Secure, Right?

"I don't want to just believe that I'm secure and then not do any work on myself," she says. "You can be a person that has a secure attachment style, but there's still like an underlying secondary attachment style" If you're around somebody who is very rejecting of you or blows hot and cold, that will activate the attachment style that you have healed from. And if you're dating someone without having seen this kind of love before, it may take some getting used to.