You have had to invest 10 times as much effort to get like a 1x yield. When someone does that over and over, when I have to work 10 times as hard as my colleagues, if I'm lucky, I get angry. You blame yourself or you blame other people. There's a theory from Freud that depression is anger directed against the self. So the lack of self-worth is like all of the rage. Now we get to your question: How do I let the legacy of the past stop determining my present and my future?