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Let the Unmet Expectation Go
Imagine, use your imagination and imagine what would make your holiday gathering or whatever scenario you're thinking about. That can really help you pinpoint what your expectation might be for that thing. Now now that you know your expectation, you have two choices. You can share that expectation with others and let people in or you can create an environment where you can process the disappointment if it's not met. Either way will often include boundaries because here's the thing even if your expectation is met holding onto it firmly and fiercely as you wait to see if it's going to be met could drain you of energy.