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S3E16 - 1st Page Feedback - Untitled by David

Death Of 1000 Cuts

00:00

Cain Don't Want to Believe Detective Kamala Cain

Kamala Cain watched the words tumble from his thin lips. Needles were pressing up from within her trying to pierce through her anger for him only surpassed by the fury she felt at herself. She pulled her arms tight around herself and tried to block it out Tried to douse her rage with anything she could Hunch down in the passenger seat. Watch two raindrops chase each other down the windscreen before merging together Only for the wiper to sweep them off the screen And here are my suggested cuts: great opening line punchy named character conflict. That's the trifecta my friend.

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