Strategies for Curbing Impulsive Online Shopping

You’re listening to Burnt Toast!

We are Virginia Sole-Smith, Corinne Fay and Dacy Gillespie. And we’re here today to launch the Unflattering x Burnt Toast Style Challenge!

Dacy is an anti-diet, weight-inclusive personal stylist, who also writes unflattering. She helps clients examine the fashion rules they’ve been told to follow and unpack the origins of those messages, to let them go. She also helps folks find their style, edit their wardrobes, and shop mindfully. Virginia is a longtime client/super-fan, so you can catch Dacy’s last episode of Burnt Toast here, and see her work in action here and here.

We asked Dacy to collaborate with us on our first-ever Style Challenge because she gets how fashion dos and don’ts can live rent-free in our brains for decades—and are almost always rooted in anti-fatness.

As you’ll see, the Unflattering x Burnt Toast Style Challenge is pretty different from a lot of other style challenges out there.

We’re breaking it all down in today’s episode, but here’s the TL/DR:

PS. If you’re enjoying the podcast, make sure you’re following us (it’s free!) in your podcast player! We’re on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Pocket Casts! And while you’re there, please leave us a rating or review. (We like 5 stars!)

Episode 138 Transcript

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Corinne

So I think the origin of this idea for us was earlier this year, when we saw some people doing a 75 hard style challenge, started by Mandy of oldloserinBrooklyn. This sparked some curiosity about doing a style challenge. But we also had questions about whether that would feel useful to us, or whether it might feel too restrictive or like a diet.

I think we were all wanting to do something similar but wanting it to be more about listening to ourselves, to hear how clothing and style felt on our bodies. Maybe something that felt a little more like style autonomy than a challenge or a diet per se.

Virginia

I love that phrase, “style autonomy.” 

Dacy

It feels a little bit diet-y when we talk about a style challenge because there can be so many restrictions. They are restrictions that are imposed on you from some external source that doesn’t know your needs or your preferences or how things will work for you. We want this to be a tool for listening to yourself and not listening to external sources about how to dress. We really want this to be something that you make work for you.

Virginia

Have either of you done style challenges in the past that ended up feeling restrictive or even full on diet-y to you?

Dacy

I think the first style challenge I ever did was Courtney Carver’s Project 333, which was a really big thing to do maybe 10 years ago in the minimalist community. It was all over social media. That was 33 items for 3 months. I did not like that challenge. It felt very restrictive. You had to choose your 33 items at the beginning of the 3 months and you couldn’t change any of your choices along the way. It felt like a lot of pressure on choosing those things. Also, the 33 items included shoes and accessories, so it was really tight. And, the three months was no shopping as well. 

Each of those things individually is a really strict restriction, and then doing all of it together—it just it wasn’t workable for me. It was too long. It was too strict on the rules.

Virginia

I did 33 items, but I think I only did it for 30 days. And now I’m trying to decide if that’s because I quit or because I misunderstood? But I know even 30 days was impossible. It was so hard.

What about you, Corinne?

Corinne

I’m actually not sure I ever did one. I remember looking at a bunch that were kind of a capsule edit thing. I feel like it was like 10 or 20 items? And it was for a shorter period of time. And you kind of do that if you’re traveling anyways. Like, how is this different from just packing a suitcase? But I don’t think I ever actually got the organizational and executive function together to do it. 

Dacy

Yeah, well, actually that’s a really good point. I wonder if you’re talking about the 10x10 challenge?

Corinne

Oh yeah! Probably.

Dacy

That was Lee Vosburgh of Style Bee. I did that one, too, and that one was much easier because it was shorter. It was 10 items but just for 10 days. I don’t remember if she included shoes.

I always felt like with all of those challenges, it was really hard just get the items. How do you figure out what items to use? I did eventually create my own challenge. There were really no rules, it was just five steps to get you to the point where you could curate a selection of clothing. Because no one was really saying, here’s how you do this. Like, how do you figure out what you need?

Virginia

That is actually a lot of labor. 

Corinne

What if you live in an apartment where you don’t have a washing machine and the thing you want to use is in the laundry? And you don’t make it to the laundromat?

Dacy

Totally. Lots of logistical challenges.

Virginia

I just remember trying to find the 33 items and being aware of not having enough things. It was some blog I was writing—this was so long ago, this was like early 2000s. I remember someone commenting and being like, “A lot of your shirts look really ratty.”

Dacy

How rude!

Virginia

It was a point where I was on a very tight budget. I didn’t have a lot of new clothes. I needed more clothes. So the idea of winnowing down was not what I needed. I needed a budget to go shopping and replace some really worn out stuff. And I was like, “I don’t want to wear this like super pilled, stretched out shirt for three months.” It brings up a lot. 

Corinne

Well, even with the like the 10x10 thing, it felt like your 10 items all had to be these beautiful, clean, minimalist Elizabeth Suzann tops and bottoms.

Dacy

Not that we don’t love Elizabeth Suzann! 

Corinne

No, no. No hate at all. But it didn’t feel like most people were doing it and one of the items was the Old Navy shirt I’ve had for three years that I probably wear every week. 

Dacy

That was really the height of the unrealistic Instagram pretty photos. That was what you were supposed to do.

Virginia

Everything is going to go with everything and fit together Tetris style. Capsule wardrobes make my brain hurt. Because on a flat lay, these pieces seem to go really well together. When I put them on my body, I don’t like how they go together. It doesn’t feel as comfortable or something. 

Dacy

Well, that’s an interesting point because it’s almost like it was more for external consumption than for you actually doing what worked for you, which is the opposite of what we want to try and do. 

For instance, Virginia, the way that you realized two days in, “actually I need more clothes, not less.” That’s the kind of thing that we want people to be open to. I work with a lot of women and half of the women have too many clothes and half the women have not enough clothes, and they’re both having troubles getting dressed. So you may fall in one camp or the other. 

Virginia

Do you ever find someone has a ton of clothes but once you really go through it, they actually don’t have enough clothes?

Dacy

Oh, 99 percent of the time. They’re holding on to things from a past self or past body, working on that journey to body neutrality or body acceptance, but it takes takes a lot of energy to get there. That is a huge piece of of it. 

Virginia

I bet. 

Dacy

We were also kind of curious to to chat a little bit about why we are attracted to this concept. I think it’s because it is kind of selling us some sort of lifestyle that’s unattainable or that’s aspirational, I guess. Like we were just saying with with the 10x10, it was like, “Curate this pretty thing and you’ll get a lot of likes.” I think that’s really something that does attract humans to these type of things. What do you guys think? 

Virginia

It feels like it’ll reduce decision fatigue because everything in your closet will work together. That is always very attractive to me. 

Dacy 

Which is not necessarily the case, obviously. 

Corinne

I think some of the appeal does feel kind of diet-y. It feels like, “If you do this challenge then somehow you’ll have the perfect closet where everything will go together!” And you won’t have too much stuff! You’ll have exactly the right amount! And nothing will be a three-year-old Old Navy shirt that’s ratty!

Virginia

Yes. I think I always think it’s going to make me shop less, too. Because shopping less is a perpetual thing I think I should be doing. These challenges are often about minimalism and examining consumption. But I feel like they’ve only ever made me shop more, which feels very similar to the dieting cycles that a lot of us have been through. 

Corinne

Yes, like you’ll be perfectly satisfied with what you have in your closet for the only time ever.

Virginia

And how long can that be sustained? Six weeks maybe? 

Dacy

I think something that frustrated me about especially those longer challenges was it didn’t allow for being human. It didn’t allow for like, oh, the weather is totally different than I expected. Global warming or my body has changed or I got a new job, you know what I mean? Our wardrobes are constantly evolving and adapting. It doesn’t feel like that’s okay sometimes with these restrictions.

Corinne

It doesn’t allow for being a human or living in the world. It doesn’t take into account your body or your environment or capitalism, where we just want to shop all the time.

Dacy

I will say, I think the shorter versions of these things can really bring you a sense of awareness of what you actually wear and what you might need. That’s hard to see when you’re looking at your whole closet of potentially hundreds of items every day. I always viewed it as an exercise. This is an exercise I’m going to go through and see what I get out of it. Maybe things are great. Maybe I actually don’t have the pair of work from home pants, the soft pants, that I need and through these few days I’ve realized I’m really uncomfortable. I should rectify that.

Corinne

I think what you’re getting at, Dacy, is part of what maybe appealed to all of us was just having a chance to tune in a little bit more to how things are feeling rather than using this as an opportunity to find some type of closet perfection.

Dacy

Yeah, absolutely.

Virginia

It’s about collecting data and that is inherently nonjudgmental. The goal isn’t to have a perfect Instagram flat lay at the end of this—or at the beginning of this! The goal is to understand what’s working and not working in your closet and how to make your clothes work for you better than achieving some arbitrary style definition.

Dacy

Yeah, for sure. We are all really committed to the idea that this is to be adapted for you. There is not anything you have to do every day. There is not anything that you have to follow necessarily. We have a vague outline and some parameters. 

I’m in the middle of doing the Body Trust Certification process with Hilary Kinavey and Dana Sturtevant from the Center for Body Trust. One of their foundational tenets is to do C work. And I think that that’s what we want anyone listening to do. I know it’s hard for those recovering/current perfectionists out there. 

Corinne

Wait, I don’t even understand what “C” work means. Like the letter grades? 

Dacy

Yeah, like the letter grade C. So do mediocre work like a mediocre white man would do.

Corinne

That’s profound.

Virginia

I’m working very hard right now on not caring about my children’s grades and not passing on my childhood grade obsessions. So yeah, this is useful.

Corinne

Alright, so we’re going to try to do C work. 

Virginia

To my fellow former A students: It’s going to be okay. We got this.

How To Do the Challenge

Corinne

Should we get into the logistics?

Virginia

Do you want to talk us through it?

Corinne

The challenge will last 3 weeks. We’re going to start April 15.

And every day, you will get dressed—or most days, you will get dressed—and you will try to lightly document that.

Each week will have a prompt to get you thinking and reflecting a little bit on your clothes, on your closet. The overall idea is that it’s less about rules and more about observing and noticing how your clothes feel and how they are or are not serving you. 

Then on Fridays in our newsletters, and on Instagram, you will get each of us sharing some photos and some reflections on how it’s going for us and then hopefully chatting about it in the comments.

Virginia

So, each week we’ve come up with a prompt or a theme. Dacy, why don’t you explain week one? 

Dacy

Our theme for Week 1: Reject style rules.

This is just, again, something that you’ll want to think about when you’re getting dressed during that week. Like Corinne said, this does not have to be an everyday kind of thing. Some days you are excited to participate and some days you have a sick kid at home or you’re sick yourself, whatever the case maybe.

So we want to think about rejecting style rules. I think we all know what some of those rules are. Virginia’s favorite is the horizontal stripes, because stripes are not supposed to “flatter” you. We can talk about “flattering,” as well. Some other things: We’re not supposed to show our bellies, we’re supposed to potentially wear certain colors or certain pants lengths for different people of different heights. They go on and on and on. Also defining the waist is a huge one.

Virginia

These rules are both universal and everyone has those two or three or ten rules that they really internalize. They’ve been told, “I should not wear X.” So it’s maybe fun/terrifying to think about, what is something you were told you should never wear? And could you wear that this week and see how it felt?

And maybe you only wear it in the comfort of your living room, in the privacy of your own home, but that’s fine. Maybe you wear it to parent teacher conferences in front of the whole town. You do you. What is your level of adventurousness with this?

I have personally found, and I’m sure you guys can relate, when I do break a style rule it is sometimes very uncomfortable and scary and I often end up discovering something I really like. I didn’t wear horizontal stripes for a long time, but I look adorable in them. This is just a fact! 

Corinne

I was trying to think of what I would like to challenge and one thing I was thinking was like, I feel like I can’t wear like a crop top. But then I was like, also crop tops just don’t feel comfortable to me. I’m just going to be yanking on it. So I feel like that’s not a good one for me. 

But one that felt a little more doable was, I feel like I have a rule in my head that if I’m wearing a big oversized shirt that I’m wearing more narrow pants. Or a tighter top with bigger pants. And I was like, what if I wear the bigger pants with the bigger shirt? I’m probably going to be comfortable.

Dacy

That’s a really good one. 

Virginia

You’re right that proportions are in our heads and proportions is totally code for makes you look better or you look more like an hourglass.

Dacy

And just to even underline it further, there are plenty of influencers and people making style content where they are wearing oversized tops and bottoms, but they are generally very thin. So it’s pushing the boundaries to do that if you’re not in that type of body. 

Virginia

Dacy, talk a little more about the paradox of the defined waist. That feels like a big one.

Dacy

If we had to trace it all the way back, of course we’d go back to Sabrina Strings and Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia and all the history that she relays in that book. 

But essentially, it was decided that an hourglass silhouette was the ideal shape for people’s bodies. And pretty much since then we’ve been trying to create the illusion of that shape, through clothes and fashion. And, you know, it’s not comfortable. Having a cinched in waist requires a lot of effort. It requires a lot of discomfort. Which is all, to me, related to occupying women with these sorts of things so that they are not able to use their brain space for bigger ideas. 

I wrote a piece about some of the stuff that people learn from What Not To Wear recently. That was really the biggest one that that everyone mentioned that they took away from that show. I’m ready to let that one go.

Corinne

And Queer Eye, the French tuck thing. It gets back to that, which you also recently were writing about, Virginia. 

Virginia

Yes.

Dacy

When you think about those tucking rules or suggestions or whatever they are, they’re explicitly for the purpose of creating that proportion, right? 

Because what people always say, if you tuck then your legs look longer. It’s about creating this illusion. Why can’t our bodies just be the length that they are?

Virginia

On the flip side, I just want to say for those of us without a waist, finding ways on our bodies to wear something with a waist can also feel radical. I was often steered away from things with a waist because it was like, you don’t go in enough so wear an empire waist or show off your legs, like wear a miniskirt. 

Dacy

Well, that that leads me to thinking about this kind of vague style rule, which is always emphasize the smallest part of your body. So for you that might have been above the stomach and that’s where you were supposed to emphasize. But yeah, we don’t need to emphasize any part of our body if we don’t want to.

Virginia

Yeah, that’s interesting. Obviously I’ve already done the work on horizontal stripes. So I guess that one doesn’t count for me. I’m just wearing them every day. 

Dacy

I think for you, Virginia, it’s the non-skinny jeans.

Virginia

I knew you were going to say that.

Dacy

It’s the proportion thing.

Corinne

It’s the wide leg jeans with boots. 

Another one I was thinking about that I think would be a challenge and would also still be comfortable would be wearing sweatpants out of the house.

Virginia

I do wear my joggers out of the house. Do those count as sweatpants? 

Corinne

I think that’s for you to decide.

Dacy

Good answer.

Virginia

I do hear you on the wide leg jeans. 

The backstory is on a recent Indulgence Gospel, we talked about how Corinne converted me to the Universal Standard straight leg jeans.

And I do really like them, but earlier today I had to be in photos. And we had a plan. The three of us had a plan that I was going to wear those jeans. And at the last minute, I texted Dacy—I didn’t even text Corinne since I knew she’d yell at me. I texted Dacy and I was like, “I can’t do it. I’m in my skinny jeans for the photos.” It was like, do I look too sloppy? Are these saggy in a weird way that I have no control over? I feel like for somebody like having your picture taken, wear the pants. You’re don’t want to feel like you’re only thinking about your pants, you know? 

Corinne

Yeah, 100%. 

Virginia

I don’t want to be hiking them up in every shot! But it is maybe something I could look at this week. 

Dacy

You guys might know I have a background in classical music and I think about pieces of classical music a lot, right? Like, if there’s something that’s more modern, you’ve never heard it before, it can be really jarring. And you’re just like, oh, I don’t like this. But if you hear Mozart or Beethoven, it’s familiar and so you like it. I think that way with clothes. 

Like I’m dating myself, but I remember when skinny jeans came out. I remember specifically talking to my friend and saying, I’m never wearing skinny jeans. Because it was new and unfamiliar. And now we got familiar with it and if you just wear those pants a lot, perhaps they will become more familiar. And the more familiar they become, it may be something that you end up liking or not. 

Virginia

I hear that. That does seem really valuable. I think you’re totally right that it’s because I was told, “Emphasize your legs.” So wearing baggy things on the bottom, that was what I was told not to do. I’m going to do that work. 

What about you, Dacy? What rules are you still holding on to?

Dacy

I think for me, the biggest one is just having a visible belly. In a way, it kind of is like what you were saying, Virginia, about sometimes defining your waist is the thing that is pushing yourself. Because my body has changed a lot over the last five-ish years. That’s something I’m still still a bit uncomfortable with.

Virginia

I’m excited for all of us to be in our discomfort next week. Except Corinne who’s wearing very large, comfortable things.

Corinne

I’m going to be wearing baggy stuff and sweatpants in public.

Virginia

Week 2: Honor Your Comfort

I think week two is when I wanted us to explore the idea of a safe outfit. I think there are a couple of different ways to think about safety and clothes. It is true that going out as a fat person, there is safety in being put together and polished and not in your sweatpants. You are going to be treated better in a lot of contexts if you put in that effort, so that’s something to explore and understand.

But is that physically comfortable and feeling physically safe on your body? Or is it you’re putting yourself into something super constrictive and physically uncomfortable in order to achieve that social safety or emotional safety? 

My thinking here is that we’ll just play with it. When you think safe, comfy outfit, what does that mean for you? 

Corinne 

Do either of you have an an outfit you would consider your safe outfit?

Virginia

I mean, I think I put it on for the photoshoot this morning. 

Corinne

Skinny jeans and a sweater?

Virginia

A bright colored sweater.

Corinne

I love that.

Dacy

I think for me it’s just my softest, comfiest clothes. The thing that you would want to put on when you’re sick and you just feel terrible and you just need that comfort, in a very literal sense.

In the past, if I had to go to a talk or do something like that, if people were going to be potentially and certainly judging me, then there’s a different safety, like you were saying Virginia. I think it’s a good thing for people to explore during this second week, which is physical comfort and then psychic comfort.

There are many people in marginalized identities who do not feel safe to dress the way that they would prefer out in the world and so we want to acknowledge that in this week of the challenge.

Corinne

I think I was also thinking a lot about the balance between what feels physically comfortable and what feels more like emotionally or mentally comfortable. I was thinking about probably some jeans and a sweatshirt. But sometimes that doesn’t really feel like presentable enough. 

Dacy

I think the way we set this up is lovely because in the first week, we’re really trying to challenge some of those things. I’m personally not a huge fan of feeling like you have to go outside your comfort zone. I have issues with that. But maybe you push the boundaries on the first week a little bit and then week two is about reflecting and saying, I felt really uncomfortable when I did that. How can I feel more comfortable during this particular week?

Virginia

Maybe it’ll help us all push a little harder in week one if you know you can go back to the the womb of whatever the safe thing is, in the next week. Because some people might be like, “I don’t feel comfortable in any of my clothes right now.” And that’s a very valid place to be. So making an entire week where you’re really just looking at your closet and thinking, well, what does feel comfy? What does feel good?

Especially if it is the thing that you wear when you’re sick or just lying around the house. Maybe you don’t think of it as an outfit or presentable, but it’s doing really valuable work in your closet.

Dacy

Yes, I really want to emphasize that, too. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve worked with someone and I ask them what what are their hopes for our work together? And they’re like, “I just wear leggings and sweats every day.” And then once we get talking, it’s like, oh, but that’s what works for you. It’s almost a style rule in itself, where it’s like, you can’t wear comfy clothes outside the house. I think there is always still this feeling that you are not getting dressed when actually you are. That’s what is functional for you. So that’s just something else to think about. 

Then I wanted to piggyback off what Corinne was saying. She was kind of saying what her outfit would be and I think it’s interesting also to just maybe during this week, tap into how you feel each morning and maybe that day you’re not going to want to wear this sweatshirt and jeans and something else will feel better.

Virginia

It can really vary.

Corinne

I also kind of like the idea of having a safe outfit uniform. Like, okay, if my safe outfit is a sweatshirt and jeans, how many different ways could I wear that? Or different combos.

Virginia

Maybe it’s a note about—and we’re going to talk about shopping in a minute—but if you are going to add to your wardrobe, once you’ve identified some elements of a safe uniform, maybe you need two pairs of jeans. That’s a place to expand so you have those options. 

Corinne

The one other thing I wanted to mention about this week is something I’ve been realizing recently is—and we talked about this in a past on Burnt Toast and I feel like I’ve maybe changed my stance. I have my favorite Universal Standard jeans in two different sizes and they both fit. But sometimes I just want to wear the baggier ones and sometimes I want to wear the tighter ones.

It’s not like I need to get rid of one because one is too small or one is too big. For a while I had put one pair away and been like this is not my size anymore. And then I was having a day, probably right before my period, I was having a day when I was like I really need some loose jeans and I got back out the bigger ones and was like, yeah, these still fit and I still like these.

Dacy

I love that so much. I have had people who regularly keep two sizes of something in their closet. We’re always told to get rid of anything that you have duplicates of or maybe that doesn’t fit, but our bodies fluctuate throughout the month, right? Sometimes a lot. And a lot of people have stomach issues and things like that and some days you need one and sometimes you need the other.

Corinne

You have a size but it’s more of a range and it doesn’t need to be like, you only wear jeans in this size.

Virginia

I mean, if we’ve learned nothing from Dacy it’s that sizing is bullshit. If Universal Standard hadn’t called both of those the Etta jeans, you wouldn’t have thought about it. You own other pants that are not the same pant in different sizes. But it’s just because they were sold as the same pants. We know from Jeans Science that the way jeans are manufactured, they can make a whole stack of jeans and they do not come out uniformly. So it’s not surprising that different sizes in the same style might work differently with your body.

Corinne

Week 3: Gentle Reflection.

I think we’re hoping to integrate some of the rejecting style rules, while still finding safety and comfort in clothing. Just taking some time to think about what pieces in your closet are working for you and what are not.

Virginia

I really think, as we’re talking about this, that I’m already hoping to find the unicorn outfits that are both rejecting a style rule and physically and emotionally comfortable. I’m trying to capsule wardrobe it. 

Corinne

Are you already trying to get an A+ when you should be aiming for a C?

Virginia

That’s right. That’s right. I’m just saying it out loud. That’s not where you have to go with this. But maybe you’ll find one outfit like that? I don’t know. Maybe.

Dacy

I wonder if that’s possible in one outfit? 

Virginia

It’s a lot to ask from one outfit. It’s funny that my brain was immediately like, oh, because we’re going to check every box and then it’s all going to come together! Don’t listen to me! This is not the goal.

Corinne

Hopefully it’s more of just a chance to reflect on what feels comfortable, what feels like something we want to be wearing more of.

Dacy

Yeah, and how you can really put that into practice, maybe during that last week.

Virginia

That seems more useful. 

Should we talk about some other things we’re not going to make people do?

First up I would say is that repeating outfits is fine and encouraged! If you’re finding something on Monday that you’re loving for that week’s theme, you don’t have to reject a different style rule. 

Corinne

Repeating outfits could be rejecting a style rule.

Virginia

Excellent. Absolutely. You’ve already done the assignment.

Corinne

We’re wearing dirty pants.

Virginia

Yeah, that’s one. We can all wear dirty clothes. 

Corinne

I’m on day five of my seven day trip here, so my shirt definitely has salad dressing on it.

Virginia

If I ever find jeans that don’t stretch out after three wearings, I would gladly wear them for five days. But that doesn’t happen. 

We should also talk about how we want to think about shopping during this time. Dacy, what are your thoughts on that? 

Dacy

A lot of those challenges that we mentioned earlier had a shopping ban during the time that you were doing the challenge. We are not going to tell you not to shop for these three weeks. We’re calling it a little pause, perhaps, if you would like to pause on buying things during this time. 

I think this is a really good tool to help you become aware of that impulse to buy. And sometimes, you may discover that what you want to buy is exactly what you’re missing. Maybe in week one, you’ve already figured out I really need this one thing. In that case, go ahead. You’ve come to that purchase from a place of thoughtfulness and functionality. 

But otherwise we want to just maybe notice those urges, notice where they’re coming from. Are they coming from an influencer? Are they coming from social media? Marketing ads? Emails? It’s just kind of an awareness and you don’t have to go one way or the other with it. 

Corinne

The way I was thinking about that is if I was like, oh shoot I really need a new specific pair of socks then I’m obviously going to buy them, but I’m going to try not to just be like, cool shirt, add to cart.

Dacy

How about you, Virginia? 

Virginia

I mean, what I’ll say about shopping is I have found the suggestion of keeping a Pinterest board of things you want to purchase to be super helpful because it satisfies that oh, I want that dopamine hit that I need.

Corinne

The “add to cart” feeling. It’s that little quick hit of dopamine when you add something to cart. I was thinking I might just make like a list in the Notes app every time I was feeling that urge.

Virginia

That’s really interesting because then you would see timestamps so I would be able to really look at how often it’s when I can’t fall asleep and I’m looking at my phone too late. There are probably some interesting underlying triggers that makes me crave online shopping at certain points. I don’t know if I want to look at that. That might be more than this challenge needs.

Corinne

Just gathering information.

Dacy

Yeah, exactly. Just gathering information. I do both. I keep a running wishlist on my phone and then I will pin things. That’s really helpful for when you do need to buy something, you have a list of stuff to buy instead of flailing wildly on the internet.

Virginia

Then I think to wrap up, Corinne, you were just going to talk a little bit about what kind of documentation we were thinking would be helpful for this. 

Corinne

Part of the challenge is doing a little observation of how things feel. I think that could either look like taking a picture of what you’re wearing, taking a quick little snap in the mirror or doing a little self timer photo. You could also just write it down in the Notes app, like “I’m wearing my universal standard shirt and jeans and it feels good” or “the jeans feel too tight,” or “the shirt is riding up,” or something like that. 

You could also make notes about if you put something on and then decide this doesn’t feel good and end up taking it off. Then also just notes about if you’re feeling the urge to shop or the urge to buy something.

Virginia

Yeah, super helpful. I am excited. I think this is going to be very informative. Dacy, I feel like you are varsity level on this so I’m really curious what you observe. I’m curious for all of our journeys. 

Corinne

I just was going to ask if either of you had other ideas about how you’re going to document or reflect on stuff.

Virginia

I think I’m going to do photos or videos. Ironically, being a writer, writing it all down sounds hard.

Dacy

Video is a good idea because you can talk in the video and say, “I like this part. I don’t like this part.” I’ll probably do a fair amount of that. 

Corinne

That’s a good idea.

Virginia

I think that would be really fun. But obviously we want as many people who are up for it to join us as possible and to do it in whatever way works. If you don’t like some part of this, we can’t stress enough that this is not meant to be hard or restrictive. You make it your own. 

Corinne

Sounds good. 

Butter

Dacy

My Butter is something that I’m scared of wearing, which is color. My butter is the colors red and blue in my wardrobe. They have not existed in my wardrobe in at least 15 years probably. I have just been craving—speaking of Pinterest, I’ve just been pinning all these images with this bright cobalt blue and this bright tomato-y red. I just love it. It’s really sparking some sort of excitement in me. However, I am very, very uncomfortable wearing color. So for the moment, I have purchased myself a blue bag and some red rubber Birkenstocks. It’s both very attractive to me and also kind of terrifying.

Virginia

I consider a red shoe to be a neutral. I feel strongly about that. It’s basically not a color, if you come from my world. 

Dacy

You are where I am on non-skinny jeans. You are very comfortable. I am not. And vice versa. 

Virginia

Ironically, you helped me get comfortable with a lot of color. 

Corinne

I love this, too, Dacy because Virginia and I were talking recently about the Color Me Beautiful thing, where the past couple of years I got brainwashed into feeling like I could only wear soft summer and now I’m like, you know what? I love wearing black.

Dacy

Absolutely, yeah. You can break that rule all week one.

Virginia

Wear all the colors.

Corinne

Okay, my Butter is the shirt I’m wearing which is men’s Abercrombie and Fitch (similar style here or here.) 

Dacy

I love it! I did notice it.

Corinne

Thank you.  I want to endorse knits. Because of the nature of knit fabric, the sizing is a lot more flexible. And also, looking at knits in the men’s department. This is an XXL, which is not my normal size. And also because it’s men’s, it’s longer. I was looking at some sort of button down knit top from Anthropologie that was plus size and like they have a 3x. But I was like, oh, it’s gonna be too short. So yeah, I’m recommending knits in general for fat people and then also looking for them in the men’s section.

Dacy

That is fantastic advice. I love it. 

Cornne

I have this one and I also just got one from Old Navy that I also really like. 

Virginia

My Butter is also a fashion thing. They are my New Balance sneakers. I’m on a perpetual quest for the sneaker that are both cute and comfortable because that is so rarely the same sneaker. These are really threading a lot of needles.

Dacy

I love them. I have something similar pinned. But right now, again, I’m trying to inject color into my space.

Virginia

They’re a little subtle for me, honestly. But I am finding them very versatile for that reason. They do go with my giant straight leg jeans. I did wear them out to brunch this week!

Dacy

That’s very daring. 

Virginia

I’m growing as a person. Yes. Thank you. And all the other women there were in skinny jeans. 

Dacy

Just to be very clear, if you want to wear your skinny jeans till the end of time. 

Corinne

We support you.

Dacy

You have that permission.

Virginia

But if you’re holding onto them because you are working through some other barriers, then we can all together free our calves next week and explore that.

Well, this was a great episode. I am so psyched about the challenge and where we all go with this. We will have Dacy back on next month so we can do—what are the sports terms? Postgame analysis or whatever they do in those worlds? 

Corinne

A follow up? 

Virginia

That would be better. Thank you, Corinne, for useful words. 

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Today’s Indulgence Gospel was produced and hosted by Corinne, Dacy, and Virginia. You can follow Corinne @selltradeplus. Dacy is @mindful closet and her Substack newsletter unflattering and Virginia is @V_SoleSmith on Instagram.

The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.

Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.

Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.

Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism!