How Do You Not Be Reactive?

I was fluctuating between beating myself up, just thinking like, ducking you jerk. And then it was listening to your voice. This is you just come to... you left Darfur to go to the Romdoss retreat in Maui. You had gone from this complete... the apocalypse. I couldn't face all the food at that buffet. How do we not become reactivity-obsessed? That's what makes me cry right now. We all have consciousness and we all have emotions but need to learn more skillful ways of being with our emotions.