The Oiling of King Charles

I bathed daily in the pancreatic fluid of a bandicoot. That's just how people respect authority I think is by using strange unguent taken from God's creatures particularly if you want to be king. They also used amber grease also known as stinky whale chunder which might explain why Queen Victoria's have that slightly offended look on their faces. No wonder Edward and Wallace wanted to peace out because they can get better lube in America at the lesbian dildo shop down the way from my house called Good Vibrations. Oh and Jocelyn this is obviously a hugely important part of the ceremony and it's so important that the oil had to be blessed and it was