Surprising Rise: A Chancellor With No Experience

It's the end of an era: Scholz, Habeck, and friend of the pod Christian Lindner have all had their last Absacker and stumbled out into the night — you can still hear them arguing in the distance in a cloud of mutual acrimony. Hey, we just let the market regulate itself, Christian! But spare a thought for Megan, who has to learn a whole new set of German politicians' names. At least Merz will be easy to remember (it rhymes with Schmerz). And there was good news too: Arch-splitter Sahra Wagenknecht took her heeby-jeeby energy into the wilderness — and Die Linke finally figured out how to set up a TikTok account and do a proper election campaign. Hooray!  

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