We need models to become ourselves in a sense, but we can be intentional about the kinds that we choose. The key here is that most people just don't think that they have models at all. Being aware of that and naming them is really important. We can then catch ourselves when we're being negatively affected by models. I see this happening in our culture where we become obsessively focused on people that we would consider our rivals or our enemies. That other person you're against or anti is actually in some ways a powerful model of desire for you.

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