I never got that in my childhood from my mother and then I became like a serial dater and I just needed to be with men. The intimacy that I found through sex and through dating men filled that hole yeah metaphorically and physically inside me the whole leftYeah that my mother didn't like couldn't fail she's done an amazing job of moving past it you deserve a lot of credit as well for moving past that they're pretty hard to heal on our own they are.