"i pent most of my life, until very recently, i to put it mildly, having a very low regard for myself," he says. "If you want other people you care for to feel fully loved, you actually have to learn how to love yourself in some capacity" He finds that if everyone is competing for something, or claims to be striving for something, it's probably very poorly defined and may mean the ladder you're climbing is leaning against the wrong wall.