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The Icy Guy
There's a really good book icky guy read that explore the concept of icky guy and it can be a great first step. Just read what you enjoy and then and then reading becomes an enjoyment for you. The courage to be disliked is also a great Japanese book about accepting who you are and moving forward through that. It might not be the golden bullet that gives it, but it's going to set you on that path to identify what is it for me.