The light unmade his eyes, turning him into not a formerly sighted being, but a being never intended to possess vision. In doing so, the light revealed to neil all the reasons he should love god. He loved him with an utterness beyond what humans can experience for one another. Every phenomenon in the universe was nothing less than an explicit reason to love him. Neil thought of the grief that had driven him to suicidal recnesses and pain and terror that sara ence before she died. And still he loved god, not in spite of their suffering, but because of it.