The Porcupine Dilemma: Navigating Connection and Rupture in Community

Finding real connection and community as a neurodivergent person can be both beautiful and complicated. We often long for community that gets us, but knowing where to look or how to show up as ourselves can feel uncertain. Having spaces where we feel seen, supported, and not too much isn’t just affirming — it’s important for our well-being.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, discuss the complexities of finding, building, and sustaining community and connection as neurodivergent people. They candidly share personal experiences of seeking meaningful relationships, discuss the unique benefits and pitfalls of digital communities, explore the emotional nuances of online versus in-person connection, and offer practical ideas and resources for those looking to cultivate neurodivergent-positive spaces.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Explore practical ways to find neurodivergent community—whether you're looking for free or paid spaces, online or in-person—and hear ideas for navigating the relational dynamics that help support connection and belonging.
2. Hear honest reflections from Patrick and Megan Anna as they share their own experiences with online engagement, friendship, demand avoidance, and the realities of community burnout. It's a conversation that feels real, relatable, and encouraging.
3. Learn why community matters not just for connection, but for identity, advocacy, and healing. In a world that can be overwhelming and isolating, shared spaces offer protection, meaning, and a way to grow forward together.

If you’ve ever felt worn out but still longed for connection with a community that truly gets you, this episode offers both honest reflection and tangible support. We talk about what it means to find—or help create—spaces of real belonging.

Resources

• THE NOOK: neurodivergentinsights.com/membership
• Autastic: autastic.com/resources-for-bipoc-communities
• NEUROKINDNESS COMMUNITY Waitlist: docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSefQlLquFvaMB7ZY7dkSumrKhtP7WBGQLHAb0Rkfzzy_UN6Gg/viewform
• DIVERGENT CONVERSATIONS UNDERGROUND: divergentconversations.substack.com

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Thanks to Our Sponsor: Jane

✨ Jane:

Jane is a clinic management software and EMR designed to be an extra set of helping hands in your health and wellness business. Available online and on any device, Jane has branded online booking, scheduling, insurance billing, customizable documentation templates and online forms, integrated payments, telehealth, and more — wrapped up in one beautiful package that even your patients/clients will love. Backed by our unlimited human support available by phone, email, and chat (even on Saturdays!), Jane is here to help you get back to the work you love. Get 2 months off new Jane subscriptions when you use code DCPOD at signup. Visit: janesoftware.partnerlinks.io/divergentconversations

✨ The Autistic Burnout Workbook:

I'm Dr. Megan Anna Neff, owner of Neurodivergent Insights, and I'm excited to announce the release of my book, The Autistic Burnout Workbook. I'm running a special deal for those who support my work. After you order, you will get a coupon code that you can use toward our store for the same amount. For example, the workbook costs $18.99, so after purchase, you'd get a credit of $18.99 to use in our digital shop or in our Etsy shop, which gets you another digital workbook of your choosing for free. This is technically a pre-order promotion that was originally set to end on March 10th, but for listeners of the podcast, I'm going to extend this deal, so if you buy the book in the next month, you can also redeem this special. Thank you for supporting my work. It means so much to me and I hope that you will find this a helpful resource for you as you continue to build a life that is a bit more resilient to autistic burnout.

• Use the following link to grab this offer: neurodivergentinsights.notion.site/17ea17a4bb8b8034ab2bf9b03c560a64
• After this deal ends, you can use this link to purchase this workbook: simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062

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💬 Join Divergent Conversations Underground

Divergent Conversations Underground is a space for messy conversations, real connection, and unfinished thoughts in a neurodivergent-affirming community. If you’d like to go deeper with us into more nuanced, searching conversations, join here: divergentconversations.substack.com

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Mentioned in this episode:

Jane

Jane is a clinic management software and EMR designed to be an extra set of helping hands in your health and wellness business. Available online and on any device, Jane has branded online booking, scheduling, insurance billing, customizable documentation templates and online forms, integrated payments, telehealth, and more — wrapped up in one beautiful package that even your patients/clients will love. Backed by our unlimited human support available by phone, email, and chat (even on Saturdays!), Jane is here to help you get back to the work you love. Get 2 months off new Jane subscriptions when you use code DCPOD at signup. Visit: https://janesoftware.partnerlinks.io/divergentconversations

The Autistic Burnout Workbook

I'm Dr. Megan Anna Neff, owner of Neurodivergent Insights, and I'm excited to announce the release of my book, The Autistic Burnout Workbook. I'm running a special deal for those who support my work. After you order, you will get a coupon code that you can use toward our store for the same amount. For example, the workbook costs $18.99, so after purchase, you'd get a credit of $18.99 to use in our digital shop or in our Etsy shop, which gets you another digital workbook of your choosing for free. This is technically a pre-order promotion that was originally set to end on March 10th, but for listeners of the podcast, I'm going to extend this deal, so if you buy the book in the next month, you can also redeem this special. Thank you for supporting my work. It means so much to me and I hope that you will find this a helpful resource for you as you continue to build a life that is a bit more resilient to autistic burnout. Use the following link to grab this offer: https://neurodivergentinsights.notion.site/17ea17a4bb8b8034ab2bf9b03c560a64 After this deal ends, you can use this link to purchase this workbook: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062