How Porn Can Actually Improve Your Sex Life
Sex With Emily
Making Porn Work for Couples
They close major points on collaboration, communication, and boundaries to integrate porn into relationships healthily.
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In this Sex with Emily episode, Dr. Emily teams up with anthropologist Dr. Wednesday Martin to tackle pornography—one of modern sexuality's most polarizing topics. From addressing listener concerns about partners who need porn to climax, to exploring how porn shapes our sexual behaviors and expectations.
The episode examines real listener scenarios including a woman feeling inadequate because her boyfriend requires porn and dirty talk about other women to orgasm, and another struggling with her partner's search history filled with degrading terms. Emily and Wednesday also dive into the research on porn's actual impact on sexual aggression, the rise of choking and other behaviors in mainstream sexual culture, and the difference between ethical porn and typical productions.
Throughout the discussion, they emphasize that porn itself isn't the problem—it's often a communication issue. The episode explores how couples can use porn as a tool for sexual exploration and self-knowledge rather than a source of shame or conflict, while acknowledging the legitimate concerns about how mainstream porn represents sexuality and consent.
Timestamps:
0:00 - Introduction
4:27 - Historical Context: Porn Has Always Existed
8:23 - First Porn Experiences
17:20 - Research Findings: Porn's Actual Impact on Behavior
27:47 - Case Study: When Porn Becomes a Relationship Issue
37:32 - Ethical Porn vs. Mainstream
41:56 - Using Porn as a Learning Tool for Self-Discovery
50:42 - Communication Strategies: Talking About Porn Preferences
57:17 - Final Thoughts
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