There's this common dynamic that i think i've learned from you, dad. It's exactly what it sounds like - where one person is kind of constantly seeking the attention, affection, desire and interest of the other. And then the other person has more of a desire for personal autonomy. Maybe one of these people, the pursuer, wants a lot of intimacy; as the other person, the distancer, want a lot of autonomy. You can see that really emerge in sight of borderline ish relationships. Yes, really, really well said. I keep coming back to that desperate, collapsing three year old child. Its so understandable what that child wants,. let's say perfect union,

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