In his five-year journal, the author lists all the stuff he did that day. The workload is just like, it's just like sublimely terrifying for a creative person to do this kind of work. And then if you're actually doing that kind of work, "it just doesn't look that way to other people" It makes me feel nauseous when I read back at my blog and see how much time I spent thinking about what I was going to say next.