2min chapter

Friend Forward cover image

Girl Problems: "How do I keep my Distance with an Ex-friend while not Letting our Friendship Break-up Impact my other Friendships within our Group?"

Friend Forward

CHAPTER

Maintaining Distance with an Ex-friend and Impact on Group Friendships

This chapter provides tips on how to navigate the aftermath of a friendship breakup within a group, including starting fresh in a new city, establishing new norms, and managing mutual friends.

00:00
Speaker 1
So you're too unkind. You're too might not be helpful. Okay. But I think we have a whole episode already on how to talk through a friendship breakup, right? But if you're like, hey, I don't want to be that direct. I just want distance. I don't necessarily want it to immediately end. Then the good news is you're kind of starting from scratch when you relocate to your city. So this is going to be a chance to redesign the dynamic that you all have. So this includes the frequency of your conversations, the kind of hangouts you do, the expectations of whether or not you all will debrief each other at the end of your day. You can reestablish that now. So you don't necessarily have to go back to what it was before. Again, she might ask you, hey, what's going on? We are not texting as much or I heard from you as much. That's one thing. You have an opportunity now that you're going back to kind of have, you know, relationship 2.0. What does this version look like? And you would want to establish that from the very beginning. That means designing new norms. Maybe it's not a text every day, even though she texts, maybe you only respond one time or maybe in the group chat that you all are in, you don't communicate as much, but you instead place more of your focus on the individual relationships with that group. So you get a chance to determine what it looks like this time around. But if she were to get upset, we kind of take the attitude of let the chips fall where they may, right? Because I hear you saying at the end of your message that you are emotionally prepared for her to be upset and I'm glad that you're okay with that. Whenever I'm talking to a client, we look at all of the options. What are all your possible options? What are some of the possible outcomes? And can you be mentally and emotionally prepared for some of the ripple effects after you make your decision, right? Now we'll end with this because we try our best to keep this segment nice and tight, right? Which I always fail and always somehow is a little bit over five minutes. Okay. Now to the business of dealing with the mutual friends. This might not be comforting, but I've seen it enough in my five years of coaching women every single week of every ethnicity and generation. Okay. There's a diverse range. I cannot guarantee you that things will be peach perfect with your friend group once you and this other friend cut ties. In some friend groups, they tend to prioritize the dynamic of the friend group over the individual relationships. So in order to do your best to maintain this dynamic that you have a couple of things, one, you want to be prepared with your response of when they inevitably ask what happened with you guys.

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