Children as Stabilizers in Family Triangles

Welcome to Elevator Systems! Today’s episode looks at how Bowen family systems theory is useful in thinking about the launching stage in a family. Erik Thompson joins hosts Dixie Vandersluys and Katie White for a lively and informative discussion.

Erik Thompson is a licensed leadership psychologist with three decades of experience helping families. He founded Thompson Leadership Development and is the Executive Director of the Vermont Center for Family Studies. He created a 6 episode podcast, “To Honor and Cherish”, designed to support couples in achieving a sparky and sustainable relationship. He also has an interview podcast called "LeaderSight" which captures the wisdom of some of Erik’s favorite founders and executives. Erik lives in Vermont with his wife and together they have launched four daughters. 

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• The importance of preparing for the launching phase of children throughout life and thinking through parenting mindsets early on
• Explore the concept of over-functioning and under-functioning in relationships and how over-helping may not be helpful
• The influence of culture on the specifics of the launching process and the variation that exists around norms and expectations
• Keeping in mind the balance between connection and independence when children leave home
• Examples include: personal stories of our families’ launches, summer camp, animal behaviour, and cultural variation

This episode is useful for parents at any stage, as well as professionals looking to support a family’s launching journey. 

Terms you don’t understand? We have episodes on all 8 concepts of Bowen theory and other ideas in Elevator Systems Seasons 1 & 2.

Recommended Resources:

• The Murray Bowen Archives Project 
• Dr. Jenny Brown: Growing Yourself Up
• Monica McGoldrick & Betty Carter: The Family Life Cycle
• Dr. Daniel Papero: Developing A Systems Model for Family Assessment 
• Vermont Center for Family Studies 
• To Honor & Cherish: A Marriage Podcast
• LeaderSight Podcast

New podcast episodes released every Tuesday this season—stay tuned as we explore relationships across the lifespan! 

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Living Systems Counselling and Training provides educational material for those interested in learning more about Bowen family systems theory: https://livingsystems.ca

Living Systems Hybrid Conference: October 17–18, 2025

Conference theme: Aging—Individual Challenge or Family Opportunity?

Learn more: https://livingsystems.ca/education/conferences/fall-2025-conference-on-aging/

Key Topics:#BowenFamilySystems #LivingSystems #MurrayBowen #Therapy #SystemsThinking #Family #Parenting #Parents #Children #Kids #Launching #LeavingHome #GrowingUp #EmptyNest #LifeStages #YoungAdult #Resources #Helpfulness #TherapyPodcast #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Relationships #DifferentiationOfSelf #Differentiation #BowenTheory #ElevatorSystems #FamilySystemsTheory #ElevatorSystemsPodcast #MurrayBowenArchives #TMBAP #TheMurrayBowenArchivesProject

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is general information about Bowen family systems theory and is not considered the practice of counselling or therapy.  The information presented are the views of the people who say them. Any information used from this podcast is used at your own risk.