In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla unpack the second pillar of a secure relationship: individuation—the idea that what it’s like to be me is different than what it’s like to be you.

They explore how differences in processing, upbringing, values, and sensory experiences can turn from “cute quirks” into major points of conflict when partners feel right/wrong instead of just different. You’ll hear real-life examples, role plays, and practical questions you can take back to your own relationship to build more curiosity, compassion, and realistic expectations of each other.

Main Talking Points: • External vs. internal processors • Individuation and attachment • Everyday differences in conflict • Sensory and value clashes • Curiosity over being “right” • Conversation prompts for couples

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