Balancing Over-Comforting vs. Tough Love

In this episode of the Dad Edge Podcast, I sit down with Adam Schafer, co-host of the popular Mind Pump Podcast, for a vulnerable, authentic, and deeply reflective conversation on fatherhood, healing generational trauma, and building connection through presence—not performance. Adam opens up about his own childhood trauma, how it shaped his identity, and the intentional work he's done to break the cycle and show up differently for his son.

We dive into the power of emotional safety, why performance-based love doesn't work, and the simple but powerful practice of being fully present. Whether you're a father looking to lead with more empathy or a man learning to love from a healed place, this conversation will resonate deeply.

[0:00] – Introduction

[2:07] – Adam reflects on his father's absence and the pain of unfulfilled promises

[5:45] – How unresolved trauma shaped his early identity and choices

[8:10] – The pivotal moment he realized his success was masking deeper wounds

[11:28] – Why he decided to show up differently for his son

[14:42] – The importance of building emotional safety, not just structure

[17:36] – Why "being there" is different from being present

[20:03] – Teaching through modeling instead of controlling

[22:14] – Using breathwork, journaling, and awareness to stay grounded

[25:11] – Why your kids don't need perfection—they need you

[28:55] – Adam's approach to leading with grace and empathy at home

[31:30] – Navigating self-doubt and letting go of old patterns

[35:07] – Final reflections: leading with love, not ego

1. Unresolved Trauma Shows Up in Fatherhood: Adam shares how his unprocessed childhood pain impacted how he first approached success, relationships, and parenting—until he consciously chose to heal and grow.
2. Presence Is More Than Proximity: Simply being around isn't enough. Kids need engaged, emotionally available fathers who are attuned to their needs.
3. Breaking Generational Patterns Starts With Awareness: Adam emphasizes that healing begins when we're honest about what shaped us—and we choose to respond differently moving forward.
4. Your Kids Need Safe, Not Perfect: It's not about being the perfect dad. It's about being the one your kids feel emotionally safe with—where they can be seen, heard, and loved unconditionally.
5. You Can't Teach What You Don't Practice: Breathwork, journaling, emotional regulation—Adam models these daily so he can parent from a grounded and connected place.

• Connect with Adam Schafer and Mind Pump Media: https://mindpumppodcast.com
• thedadedge.com/soulmates
• Download the Questions for the Car resource: https://thedadedge.com/25questions
• Explore more episodes and resources: https://thedadedge.com/podcast
• thedadedge.com/soulmates

If this episode helped you reflect, reframe, or reconnect, don't forget to rate, review, and share the podcast. One conversation can change everything.

Live legendary.