A lot of us experience this feeling that, okay, there is some shared common humanity, but what if secretly I'm actually worse than everyone else? Does that resonate? Yeah, so that is a common thought. That's why it's really helpful to practice self-compassion with other people. And when you hear other people, and their belief that they are the most uniquely flawed person in the world, it quite quickly disabuses you of that illusion.
Self-compassion isn't selfish, says psychologist Kristin Neff, a pioneer in research on the topic. Kristin busts cultural myths about self-compassion, such as the idea that it makes us lazy or self-indulgent, and explains why it’s actually a more effective motivational tool than self-criticism. She also breaks down why fostering more self-compassion is a better strategy than trying to boost self-esteem and offers some simple practices for being kinder to ourselves.
If you enjoyed this episode, we recommend this one from the archives: “The Science of Our Inner Voice.”
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