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4min chapter
What does the research say about healing?
All Out in the Open
How Can I Get My Brain to Place Where There Are No Threats?
The key, think, for everyone is to ask themselves where they have that feeling. Where do i get that feeling of total safety? And maybe it isn't where you think. It might not be your favorite people or the funniest friends. But wherever you get that feeling, you protect that and you spend, you put your brain in that environment as often as you can. You know, that's the source of healing.
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Speaker 2
Compulsively feeling the need to be forgiven and confess your sins, et cetera. So if you have even a, even a single individual, even if it's apparent, if it's a friend, if it's a network, likean circle,
Speaker 3
if
Speaker 2
you have that source, it's, it acts as sort of buffer against those sort of less desirable, fear inducing beliefs or exposures.
Speaker 3
So it seems like it's like, it's not really practical or possible to remove all danger, right? Like, you're are going to be sted
Speaker 5
human,
Speaker 3
like, there's going to be harmful comments. There's going to be ways that people are going to feel ostracized. And but like, the way to fix thato, the way to buff against that, is to increase social safety. And i love this idea that social safety isn't just the absence of danger, it's the presence of like, effort. Like, like,
Speaker 4
that's
Speaker 1
sensible. I whil i am likelike, no doubt, right? How how can i get my brain to place
Speaker 4
where i trust completely?
Speaker 1
You know? And that it's, i lot's like we all live dangerous lives, and our heads and our hearts
Speaker 4
need to heal
Speaker 1
from the stressers of everyday life. Discrimination is out there. Lots of things are out there. And yes, we can fight them all. But in the same way that your body
Speaker 4
needs to sleep,
Speaker 1
your brain needs to have a place to repair and recover where there are no threats. Zero. The
Speaker 4
key,
Speaker 1
think, for everyone is to ask themselves where
Speaker 4
they have that feeling.
Speaker 1
Where do i get that feeling of total
Speaker 4
safety? And
Speaker 1
maybe it isn't where you think. Maybe you think you feel comfortable with your bowling leg, but you're a little bit on guard. It might not be your favorite people. It might not be am the funniest friends. It's unpredictable. But wherever
Speaker 4
you get that feeling, you
Speaker 1
protect that and you spend, you put your brain in that environment as often as you can. And that, that is healing. You know, that's the source of healing. So find who makes you safe and preserve it. And also, i do this all the time. Ask yourself, how can i make the people that i care about feel
Speaker 4
safer? What
Speaker 1
ways might they be? Not certain about my love? Like, you know, show it. You nowther i was talking to my sister a couple of days ago, and she the alcoholic, yes an and, and she was talking about something that she remembered me say a couple of years ago that made her feel
Speaker 4
like like
Speaker 1
a bad mother. And, and i was, i just in a shoes, like, oh, it doesnt i know you don't think that. Don't worryn and i just said, no, i need to stop for a second. The fact that you spent any time thinking that i would say that about you, or think that about you. I just want to say,
Speaker 4
no, no, like,
Speaker 1
that's not a little deal. That's a big deal to me. And i want you to know tat thati, i would never say that. I never think that. And i apologize for the time you spent thinking
Speaker 4
that.
Speaker 1
And
Speaker 4
we may think, oh, they know i love them. And nowim
Speaker 1
like, maybe they don't.
Speaker 4
Let's,
Speaker 1
you know, where are the people in your life uncertain? And let's let's remove that. And let's tell the who might feel that their whole self is not welcome, say to them, i want you to bring your boy friend over. I want to meet them. I want to know about
Speaker 4
how you met.
Speaker 1
I treat your joy as my joy. You don't have to be afraid that you can't talk about that with me. I want to make it so clear that i love the fact that you have a boy friend, right?
Speaker 4
Like, make it obvious.
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