The Most Phenomenal Way to Die

A hundred fifty to two hundred people die in the US each year because of food allergies. If I would never tell anybody if I was allergic to peanut butter, I would jump out of a window. Someone cracks open a jar of jiff or a skippy fucking skippy takes you out. What is the most pathetic way to die? The mascot of skippy as we have that pulled up? It's a squirrel.