The Third Amendment, Motherfucker. Bye.

Joel Stein: What if I did write it and I just accidentally just told on it that I just stole your book. He says he didn't win any awards, but Charles Cravallian won a bunch of them. "I waited till this whole time to tell you I want my book," writes Stein. The podcast is produced by Joel Stein in association with iReporters.