Do You Want to Do or Do You Feel Obliged to Do?

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When we do things from this place of, it's expected of me, I have no choice, I am obliged to do it, is that it cuts us off for myself. The common example that I use with this is around family. How often do you want to speak to a parent or you want to visit a parent? And I'll say to people, okay, how often do you feel obliged to call or to visit? That person will realize, oh, my parents expect me to call them like every day or they want to see me like, X times a week or a month or whatever. Nine out of 10 times there's a difference between the two and sometimes the difference is

How might your life be different if you’d gotten comfortable saying no in your earliest days? No to other people’s opinions about everything from education to careers to relationships. No to someone else telling you what to prioritize and how to spend your time. No to people you’ve never met offering their opinion on what you should or shouldn’t do, then tell you how they think your choice worked out.

How would your life be different, if you’d gotten okay with choosing for you, and not just for acceptance or obligation? And, how might you reclaim it, if you started getting clear on when and what to say yes or no to from this moment on? And, rid yourself of the need to please? That’s what we’re diving into with today’s guest, Natalie Lue, as a self-proclaimed recovering people pleaser who's spent the past nearly two decades unwinding the need to please and reclaiming freedom and ease.

Natalie is a writer, speaker, podcaster, artist, and founder of one of the longest-running personal-growth websites in the world, Baggage Reclaim and The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast, and author of the new book, The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaim Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want.

In our conversation, Natalie opens up about her struggles with people-pleasing, something we all know about and have experienced to some degree. We talk about the life events that brought Natalie back to herself, back to reclaiming her boundaries and life, and we get into some of the nitty-gritty of what it looks like to say yes to the life you want and how to embrace the joy of saying no.

You can find Natalie at: Website | Instagram | The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast

If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Susan Piver about the Enneagram and how it helps us relate to others and also set boundaries.

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