And that by spending that money, we weren't worried about everything else because we knew it fit in the overall because that that was a line item and the electricity was a line item so we knew we didn't spend the electricity money on groceries or vice versa yep we didn't worry because it was all laid out we had a plan and the amount of peace that we got having the month laid out as long as we stayed within those guidelines we knew it was whole thing was going to work.

Instead

of going from anxiety to anxiety to anxiety, every time you're paying a bill, there's a freak out. A

question always in the back of, is this okay? Am I okay? Is this okay? And

even later on when we started having some money, buying something, a luxurious item, is this okay? And you've got to go, well, is it okay? And does it fit in this written out plan where every dollar has been given an assignment? Folks, if you want to have that change of experience in your life, where you go from, when I'm doing something as basic as grocery shopping and that being anxiety, an anxiety event, going from that to peace, the only step that does that is a written plan, a detailed plan, and that's called a budget. Before the month begins, you're giving every dollar an assignment. You and your spouse agree to it, and then you stick to it, that way the electricity gets paid and the uh the groceries get bought and the kids can have shoes and no one died yeah you know you know it's just like yeah it's a thing most people though have that experience standing in the grocery line crap I don't know when I finish this if we're okay oh

yeah well and there's a thought too that a lot of people have that think okay if I know and I plan out and I do a budget and I see a number in a specific line item like groceries then I can't just go and spend whatever I want. And that doesn't that that I hear the opposite to like, oh, that's just that sounds so constricting. And like, oh, it's that sounds so controlling. And I don't know if I want that. And then you start to realize there is an underlying level of anxiety, whether you address it or not, when you still have a question mark in your head of thinking, okay, as I'm taking stuff and putting it in my cart, and I'm going to check out and I see that total the feeling of oh I thought that was going to be restrictive when I know oh this is how much I have to spend each week it actually becomes such freedom where

you

actually enjoy and have a level of peace with it so so on on both ends right the level of anxiety of do we have enough but then also people are saying oh my god I don't want to live on a budget because that just means I can't have any fun and that feels so restrictive well you don't realize on that end too there's a level of anxiety because you don't you don't know what's going on you're

creating anxiety with that immature look on life that's

right because

it's immature to go i can just spend like i'm in congress yeah and that's just a that's a childish view because obviously we all know we can't do that it's not i mean grown-ups know the money runs out somewhere and so you know and and you know even like we had to go so far as we went to we went hardcore more than we recommend today on the envelope system like we had envelopes for everything like envelope for groceries and envelope for restaurants and your mother would not buy herself clothing because she's a classic southern bell martyr and she's like well i'll just be scarlet o'hara i'll make something out of the drapes and uh the kids can have new clothes and it's like no that's not necessary we have the money to everything so what would happen is we would have clothing budget and she would spend it all on the kids wouldn't buy herself anything so i had to finally separate in the budget in the early days sharon's clothes was a separate category and she was not allowed to spend that on anything but sharon's clothes amazing what that did to allow to give her guilt-free spending yes

it is such permission that