Navigating Modern Dating Dynamics

This chapter explores the complexities of modern dating, emphasizing the importance of self-contentment and understanding personal desires in forming meaningful relationships. It critiques common dating advice like 'just be yourself,' advocating for personal growth and adaptability in social interactions. Additionally, it highlights the experiences of individuals over 40 in dating, stressing the significance of self-confidence and community support in finding love.

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Episode notes

Is modern dating painful and how can those who want to find love in 2025 find love intentionally?

Synopsis: The Usual Place host Natasha Ann Zachariah hunts for new perspectives on issues that matter to young people.

On this episode of The Usual Place, host Natasha Ann Zachariah dissected the dating game with Andrea Tan, a certified sex, love and relationship coach and founder of Athena Rising Coaching & Consulting and Chia Wei Goh, founder of CGull, a dating consultancy for men.

According to results from a Bumble survey that was released mid-Nov 2024, people here are still keen to date – four in five Singaporean singles interviewed are looking to find a long-term partner in 2025. (Bumble is a women-first dating and social networking app that was founded in 2014.)

But what are some of the issues that get in the way of finding love?

From treating dates as job interviews to having many deal-breakers, both Andrea and Chia Wei dove into the insights they gleaned from working with their clients.

Natasha wanted to find out if dating stereotypes of ideal partners that surface on social media – “man in finance, trust fund, 6’5”, blue eyes” or “trad wife”, for example – hurt or help one’s chances at making a great impression.

Meanwhile, Chia Wei suggested that both genders take on a niche hobby such as yoga for men or muay thai for women, to open more opportunities to meet a partner of the opposite sex.

Andrea, who is also Bumble’s relationship expert, said that to press ahead in the dating game, one needs a cheerleader support group to provide positive affirmations.

Highlights (click/tap above):

6:59 Should you lower your standards in dating?

11:46 Looking for KPIs in dating

15:16 Men are in a more vulnerable position than women

29:42 Is it game over in the dating game for those over 40?

32:51 Where to start if you’re a first-time dater

35:00 Are men bad at conversations?

Connect with these coaches on social media:

Chia Wei: https://www.instagram.com/cgullwing/

Andrea Tan: https://www.instagram.com/theathenarising/

Host: Natasha Zachariah (natashaz@sph.com.sg)

Follow Natasha on her IG account and DM her your thoughts on this topic: https://str.sg/8Wav