Ryan: We're animals that are attracted to things that are pleasurable and we avoid things that are painful by nature. He says self absorption is the source of his misery; it's the source of my not connecting to people. "No amount of preaching, no amount of learning will ever work," he adds. 'You have to sort of experience it from within'
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Robert Greene has written 7 international best-selling books focused on strategy, power, and seduction, including The 48 Laws of Power, Mastery, The Laws of Human Nature, and most recently, The Daily Laws.
Notes:
- What matters is not education or money, but your persistence and the intensity of your desire to learn; that failures, mistakes, and conflicts are often the best education of all; and how true creativity and mastery emerge from all this.
- Adapt your inclinations. Avoid having rigid goals and dreams. Change is the law.
- Find inspiration from your heroes. Are there people whose work affects you in a powerful way? Analyze this and use them as models.
- Trust the process. Time is the essential ingredient of mastery. Use it to your advantage.
- What The mentor needs - Find a master to apprentice under, but instead of thinking about how much they can give you, think about how you can help them with their work.
- Learn by Doing -- The brain is designed to learn through constant repetition and active, hands-on involvement. Through such practice and persistence, any skill can be mastered.
- Master your emotional responses - displaying anger and emotion are signs of weakness; you cannot control yourself, so how can you control anything?
- Always Say Less Than Necessary. When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control.
- Avoid the false alliance -- Cultivate real allies. No one can get far in life without allies. The trick is to recognize the difference between false allies and real ones. A false alliance is created out of an immediate emotional need. A real alliance is formed out of mutual self-interest, each side supplying what the other cannot get alone.
- Despise the Free lunch - Learn to pay and to pay well. -- I find that the best clients don’t haggle on price, they pay immediately and they are easy to work with. The clients who want to fight about every last dollar always end up being the most difficult to work with. “There is no cutting corners with excellence. It is often wise to pay full price.”
- Judge people on their behavior, not on their words - What you want is a picture of a person’s character over time. Restrain from the natural tendency to judge right away, and let the passage of time reveal more about who people are.
- Don’t mistake extra conviction for truth - When people try to explain their ideas with so much exaggerated energy, or defend themselves with an intent level of denial, that is precisely when you should raise your antennae.
- Determine the strength of people’s character - In gauging strength or weakness, look at how people handle stressful moments and responsibility. Look at their patterns: what have they actually completed or accomplished?
- Be a source of pleasure - No one wants to hear about your problems and troubles. An energetic presence is more charming than lethargy. Being lighthearted and fun is always more charming than being serious and critical.
- Leave people with a feeling - Keep your eyes on the aftermath of any encounter. Think more of the feeling you leave people with -- a feeling that might translate into a desire to see more of you.
- Transform yourself into a deep listener - It will provide you the most invaluable lessons about human psychology. The secret to this: finding other people endlessly fascinating.
- Do Not let success intoxicate you - after any kind of success, analyze the components. See the element of luck that is inevitably there, as well as the role that other people, including mentors, played in your good fortune.
- Increase your reaction time - the longer you can resist reacting, the more mental space you have for actual reflection, and the stronger your mind will become.
- Alive time or dead time - Never waste a minute. Make today your own -- whether you’re stuck in traffic, sick in bed, or working long hours. You are renting just about everything in your life. The only thing you own is your time. Make the most of it.
